Red Breast
by Eve Royal
Summary: The ABC's of a certain Boy Wonder. Haven't you ever wondered what makes him tick? Canon pairings, if any, with Batman references.
1. Angel

A/N: This is an alphabetical summary of Robin. There are (many) angst pieces, some drama, a couple romance (but not many. I tried to stop myself), and even some humor. Enjoy my thoughts on Robin, and his thoughts on life.

**EDIT (December, 2009):** **I've fixed this one up a bit, but essentially it is still the same. I hope you like the new beginning.**

Disclaimer (for the entire story!): I don't own anything; not Teen Titans, not Batman, and not any of the lyrics that are used at the beginning of each piece. End of disclaimer.

Time Line: Season I

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**Red Breast**

_The North Wind doth blow_

_And we shall have snow_

_And what will the robin do then,_

_Poor thing?_

_He'll sit in the barn_

_To keep himself warm_

_And hide his head under his wing._

_(poor thing)_

* * *

**Angel**

"_May you find some comfort there."_

"Why are we here again?"

"Because, friend Raven, we were unsuccessful in saving the life of this man, and as such, it is our most tragic duty to accompany the family in their mourning."

"...Right."

"This place is boring. I wanna go home."

"Shut up, B. Be respectful."

My face doesn't change its position while my friends whisper around me. A voice in the back of my head mutters something about agreeing with Beast Boy, but I shut it out. The priest at the head of the room continues speaking about the deeds of this man; how we came from ashes and how we will return to ashes; and how he is finally at peace and where he belongs. On and on he goes, as does my friends murmuring. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. This church brings back far too many memories. Memories that should stay buried far away in the Gotham Graveyard.

"Ashes? What does he mean by ashes?"

"Shut it, Beast Boy."

If I think about it long enough, I can hear their laughter: her spring giggle and his deep chuckle. If I squeeze my eyes shut hard enough, I can see their smiles. They come back to haunt me sometimes: when I'm tired, when I've been knocked out for the count, or in my sleep. Sometimes, when my team's happy, I can feel _them_ around us, as if they're drawn to any pleasure in my life.

Right now, there is no pleasure. So they are not here.

"Please, why must everyone wear such a dull and dreary colour as black?"

"And what's wrong with black?"

"Uh... Nothing!"

That makes me happy, that their presence isn't here. I don't need another angry memory to taint theirs. I don't need another chorus of weeping, and sobbing, and spiteful glares in my direction. I don't need any more hatred to compromise their love.

I can't blame this man's family for wanting to hate me, though. It was my job. And I did fail. The man is dead - I am alive. I could've done more. I could've been more.

"Dude... Something stinks here."

"Are you sure it's not you?"

"Hey!"

"Shut it, Titans," I say; and by calling them that, I have given them an order. All of them paste stricken, guilty expressions on their faces, and bow their heads. I sigh and tune everything out.

I'm not really mad at them. People deal with grief different ways. My team needs to talk about it - even Raven does, to a certain degree. Me? I'm happier to wallow in my own misery until reality pulls me back up.

I figure I've got about another hour of wallowing. After that, there'll be another call, or another disagreement to settle, or another Earthen lesson to teach. Life never stops. The circle keeps turning.

I glance out the stained glass windows and wonder how long this is going to take. I've become soaccustomed to happiness these days, that I've forgotten that every day used to feel like right now - alone and shadowed. Now that I have to handle this pain for a couple of hours I don't think I can't bear it.

Funny. I never thought that would happen.

My gaze falls to the Titans and I take in their lowered heads. Now that I've forced them to listen to the ceremony, the misery is creeping up and stealing into their faces. They're dark and lonely and angry at themselves for not saving someone. Just like I am.

After the funeral, we'll give our condolences to the family, who will stare at us with grief-stricken eyes and hate us for not being enough. Years later though, they'll appreciate the gesture, and we won't be weighed down with the guilt. Then we'll go out into the sun and I'll buy them all pizza and poke and prod until they're back to normal.

This isn't the first time this has happened. And it won't be the last. But life has to keep going, and I can start them off. It's the least I can do. After all, they gave me a family.

I wonder if they can feel their parents smile down on them too.

- - - ANGEL - - -


	2. Bats

A/N: So! Thanx to Somewhere In Time and contagiousCHRISTian for reviewing! I wish a couple of other people would review... I swear, I'm not scary. And here's the next part! Constructive Criticism is welcomed!

EDIT: Thanx to TheBlueCrystalRose, I learned that I completely messed up Batman's character on this one. As such, I have fixed that. This way, Batman can't come from Gotham City to destroy me. Which is always good. 'grins'

Time Line: pre-Fear Itself

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Bats

"_I know you were just like me."_

"So, what was it like?"

I glance at my young friend. "What was _what_ like?"

"You know." His mouth spreads into a grin and I can see a lone fang peeking through. "Working with the Batman. Being his sidekick, his buddy, his next of kin!"

"Full of laughs," I drone, recalling the number of glares I received because of bad puns.

"Really?" His green eyes shine with enthusiasm. I roll my eyes, even though I know he can't see it.

"Sarcasm is a foreign language to you; isn't it?" Raven remarks. I give her a quick smile as thanks, but Beast Boy frowns at us both.

"Seriously, Rob," Cyborg cuts in. "What was it like?"

I find myself frowning and my arms crossing into my old 'sulking position'. It never helped, but it never did any harm either. "I don't want to talk about it. That part of my life is over. I don't plan on ever going back." I ignore that voice in my head that says one day I'll return to good, old Gotham, and that if he ever needed me, I'd be there in a heartbeat. He speaks up sometimes and tends to annoy the life out of me.

"Please? Just a little bit?" A second later a green kitten with huge eyes plops down on my lap. He mews piteously and waves his tail.

I sigh. "He was the best. He made sure I knew it. And he made sure that I knew how impossible the whole idea of being his sidekick was." My minds drifts back to the hundreds of training sessions that often ended with me almost in tears.

"He controlled the city. Every nook and cranny; every greedy little tattle tail." I smirk, remembering. "He knew about them all. Used them to his advantage."

"But why the name Batman?" Cyborg asks. I notice how everyone's eyes are on me and I wonder how long they've wanted to ask me this.

I pause, wondering how much I should tell them. "Alfred once told me..." I begin, my voice soft, "that he used to be afraid of them. As a kid, I mean."

Beast Boy's eyes widen. "Dude; seriously? But... Batman's not afraid of anything!"

My lips shift into a frown. "Everybody's afraid of something, Beast Boy. It's okay to be afraid sometimes. You've just got to make sure that your fear doesn't hinder you from doing your job. And that's what made Batman pick that name; so he could stop being afraid."

"But bats are so cool!" Beast Boy cries. "I mean, they can see in the dark, and eat insects - which is kinda gross, but not their fault - and use sound waves to see and-"

"I'm impressed," Raven drones. "You actually know something."

While he sticks his tongue out at her, I add, "Most people don't really like them, though. I can't say I'm a huge fan of them."

"Why ever not?" Starfire asks. She claps her hands together, beaming. "They are so very adorable!"

I stay silent for a minute, trying to form my thoughts while I fight back my smile at Starfire's attitude. "I guess I've read too many stories about bats being the bad guys. You know, with vampires and stuff." I lean back in the seat. "Sometimes I wondered if Batman was really the good guy," I whisper.

"Dude!" Beast Boy exclaims. "Of course he was! The Dark Knight of Gotham City," he recites, spreading his hands out.

"Yeah," I mutter. "The _Dark_ Knight." My eyes drop to my lap, not that they can see them, and I frown deeper. If my mentor was a dark knight... I glance over to my gloved hands. ...What did that make me?

- - - BATS - - -


	3. Child

A/N: Sad ending. And kinda odd, but whatever. Also, you'll note that I changed Bats up a bit (Thanx, TheBlueCrystalRose!). Not a lot, just a bit. But, yeah... This one is part of the angst...

Time Line: post Season III.

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Child

"_I mustn't let them see me cry."_

I think that the dull pain in my chest is my heart aching, but I can't be too sure. It _would _make sense, considering how what I'm seeing is all that's left of the Jump City Orphanage. The shelter for all the homeless children, the home for all my little friends, is gone. Voices scream their outrage in my head, but I force them to be quiet.

I wonder absently why all those voices only appeared _after_ Raven and I formed that damn bond. I find my head shaking as my appreciation for the grey-skinned empath grows ten-fold.

Looking around, I can see how Beast Boy is trying desperately to hide his tears and how Cyborg is comforting him by wrapping a robotic arm around his shoulders. I can hear Raven's monotone mantra as she struggles to control her emotions, struggles to mute the several voices in her own mind. And near the ashes of the destroyed building stands Starfire. Standing, not floating.

After rolling the idea around in my head, I walk over to her and gently place a hand on her shoulder. She straightens, but makes no other sign that she felt me. I can feel my heart ache a little more.

"Starfire," I murmur. She releases a chocked sob and points towards a form in the midst of the wreckage. I slowly make my way over to where she pointed and a gasp escapes.

Bodies. Corpses. Where eight children stood and laughed and breathed yesterday are the still forms of them; forms that will never live again. My breaths become short and shallow despite all my self control as I recognize every one of them.

There's Amy with her golden curls; Derek with his "rocker hair;" Kelly and Molly, the five year old twins that shared everything but looks. There's Thomas and Kathy and Jon, who was so much like me that it scared me sometimes.

I fall to my knees and somewhere between Starfire's sobs and Beast Boy's sniffles I can hear the children's cries of joy and mirth.

"_Hey, it's Robin!"_

"_Cool cape!"_

"_Why are you called Robin?"_

"_Do you have a girlfriend?"_

"_Why are you the Boy Wonder?"_

"_Who's your best friend?"_

"_Can I be an honorary Titan?"_

My eyes are filing with tears as I pick up the form of a four-year-old girl. I can't recall her name – Rose, or Daisy. Maybe Lily. It never really mattered seeing how to me she was just Weed. Her red hair – so much like Mom's, like Batgirl's, like Starfire's – is stringy with rain and dirty from ashes. I stroke her forehead and smile shakily.

"Goodbye, Weed. See you in heaven." And although I don't want it to, my head falls to my chest and my eyes begin to burn. But I don't let myself cry. I can't cry. I don't remember how.

- - - CHILD - - -


	4. Dream

A/N below.

Time Line: any time.

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Dream

"_A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep."_

The doors slide open with a swoosh and I take a step forward to enter the Common Room. My team is sitting around the kitchen – Raven on the couch with another thick novel, Cyborg and Beast Boy behind the counter attempting to cook breakfast and Starfire flying around the room, smiling her megawatt smile.

"Robin!" She sees me and zips over, her smile even brighter. I find myself smiling at her, despite my previous mood. "Glorious morning to you, friend!" She hugs herself instead of me, which is strange. She angles her head to the side and a wondering look shines in her eyes. "Was your sleep pleasant? And your _shlorvaks_?"

_Shlorvaks_, I remember, is dreams. She wants to know how I slept. She wants to know if my dreams were good or bad. I bite back a sarcastic laugh. Good dreams? Good night sleep? Sure. Like I'd had a decent sleep since my parents died. Yeah, Starfire. My dreams were sugary sweet.

Seeing how she's waiting for an answer, I shrug and walk past her. I smile as Cyborg gives me a cup of black coffee, my favourite kind. I stare into the dark liquid as I pick up the cup.

"_Mom! Dad!"_

"_You can't win, Robin. So choose: Batman, or Judge Watkins."_

"_It's always been about you, Robin."_

"_Catch ya' later, kid."_

"_Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Old man Bats has a new sidekick: Bird brain!"_

"_Do. Not. Move."_

_BANG!_

I gasp and drop the coffee cup, barely registering the crash it makes when it lands on the ground, or the startled shouts of my team mates. I stumble back, holding my head, my breaths long and laboured.

"Shoot," I mutter. "Sorry."

"Robin? Are you alright?"

"Yeah, dude. You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Robin? Are you feeling okay?"

I feel a hand on my shoulder and I turn my head to see Starfire staring at me. I force a smile on my face. If they only knew...

"Yeah, you guys. I'm fine. Sorry about the glass." I bend to pick up the pieces covering the ground. "I'll clean it up."

- - - DREAM - - -

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A/N: The words in italics were some of the nightmares he's had. Here's explanations:

(1) Robin crying as his parents fell to their deaths.

(2) My theory is that Robin came to Jump after a fight with the Batman, which was over Robin getting shot. Robin was fighting Two Face who had kidnapped Judge Lawrence Watkins and Batman, and Robin had to choose which would live. He chose both, but only Batman survived. Robin and Two Face got in a fight, Rob got shot, Batman grounded him, Robin ran away.

(3) Slade. It's in the show.

(4) Red X. In the show.

(5) The Joker. Nobody else is that insane.

(6) Starfire in Apprentice II.

(7) The gunshot that I mentioned above.

Also, I'd like to thank you all for the awesome reviews! I really, really enjoy reading them. And, updates might slow down over the next couple of weeks as school is getting to me again, and I'm writing something for a contest... 'shivers with nerves' Anyways, I have most of this collection written, so I wouldn't worry too much about that. But it is a warning in case something happens, okay?

Oh, and in case anybody was wondering (no one has yet, which is surprising, but...), the reason why these shorts are so much shorter than my usual work is because I started off with the hope of writing drabbles. 'eyes word count' As you can see, it didn't really work, so I gave up on it. But, I didn't want to make them very long. They're snippets, so... yeah. Just thought you might be curious. 'shrugs'


	5. Eyes

A/N: Uh... Naked Robin anyone? Anyways, thanx for all the reviews you guys! Sorry this update took me so long... And I lalso figure the quote at the top can be taken two ways... Anybody agree with me?

Time Line: any time.

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**Eyes**

"_Your eyes make me scared to tell the truth."_

I sigh as the water finally stops dripping over my bare shoulders, and listen to the way it sloshes down the drain. It takes five seconds longer than it usually does. I'll have to have Cyborg take a look at our plumbing. Who knows what Beast Boy's tried to flush recently?

I pull back the curtain, thriving on the sound of the shower material rubbing against itself. Little things like that, things that never, ever change, make my day. They centre me, as pathetic as that may be. I wait another couple seconds to let the water drip off my hair. There's no point in getting the floor all wet too.

I step out of the shower, taking care not to slip on the smooth tiles. I reach for the towels that hang on the bars on my right, grabbing the red one instead of the green one. I check it over for hair, fur, or anything else that might have came off Beast Boy. Every now and again he grabs my towel by mistake. For some reason, there's always something left on the towel. I don't question him. I just grab the other one.

Luckily, mine was clean today. For once. I reach up and began to ruffle it through my hair, which is slowly growing longer. I really, really need a haircut. I keep walking as I dry, rubbing the towel around my neck and shoulders before drying my chest and arms. Somewhere on this counter is my clothes...

There. I check them over as I tie the towel around my waist. Sometimes Cyborg and Beast Boy came in to... tamper with my clothing choice. Of all the days for them to bleach all my clothes, it had to be the one day that ten alerts sounded. I never got a chance to change that day. Again, the guys haven't been at my stuff today, so I leave it be. I'm not dry enough yet.

With a sigh, and a shake of my head – my hair isn't completely dry yet either – I turn towards the mirror. And start.

Woah.

My hand slowly reaches for my face and brushes under my eyes. How long has it been since I've seen them? A week? Maybe two? I was starting to forget the colour...

They were lighter than I remembered. I keep seeing my eyes as a dark, dark blue; but recently, when I remember to take off my mask at least, they are more of an electric blue with a dark undertone. Like a shadow that's being overpowered by the light of day. Which also sounds like something that belongs in one of Babs' romance novels she used to read. Still reads. Maybe. I don't even know...

I tilt my head one way and then the other, wondering if that might change the way my eyes look to me. But no. My head begins to shake from side to side. Wow. They almost look like they did way back... when...

"Hey!"

A pounding on the door wakes me up from my thoughts and my head cracks over to the sound. What the...?

"How much longer you gonna be in there, dawg? Some of us gotta use that room too, ya' know!"

"What are you doing in there, dude?" Beast Boy's higher voice interrupts. "Shaving?"

"Yeah right!" Cyborg's voice booms. "Like he's got anything _to_ shave!"

I laugh, and tune them out, turning back to the mirror. My eyes are even lighter than they were a minute ago. Maybe... Just maybe...

- - - EYES - - -


	6. Father

A/N: I figured since I made you guys wait over a week for the last update, I'd give you two quick ones. I'm in a writing mood, and no exams are going to bring me down!

Time Line: post "Titans Together."

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**Father**

"_The walls will tumble."_

"Hey, Rob!"

I turned slightly, cutting off Bushido. "Just a sec," I requested, holding up a finger. Cupping my gloved hands around my mouth, I shouted, "What do ya' want, Cy?"

"Get over here!"

I rolled my eyes (masks are a wonderful invention when you're as sarcastic as I am). "Sorry," I muttered to Bushido who shrugged and waved me off. I stomped off through the crowds of Titans, chatting throughout the Common Room.

As pleased as I was that we defeated the Brotherhood of Evil – that _they _defeated the Brotherhood – I couldn't help my annoyance. Couldn't they have found some _other_ place to meet? The Tower wasn't built as a hangout for a bunch of heroes!

Finally, I stood next to Cyborg, who had his hand on a blonde boy's shoulder. I crossed my arms over my chest and looked into the dark green eyes.

"Robin! I'd like to introduce you two! This little guy," and he patted the boy's shoulder, "helped B save us all! His name is-"

"Jericho," I finished smoothly, keeping my eyes on the boy's face. He watched me as carefully as I did him. "You forgot that I'm the one who invited everyone," I added, chancing a glance at my hybrid friend.

"Oh." Cyborg's face relaxed into a grin. "He's a great guy, you know. Not very talkative, though," he joked, chuckling.

The corner of my mouth turned up. "Ha-ha," I muttered.

Cyborg rolled his human eye. "Oh, lighten up, Rob. He sucks the fun out of everything," he informed Jericho.

Jericho's lips perked up slightly, but he stayed silent. I kept my mouth shut too. There was more to this than anybody else could see.

"Well..." Cyborg eyed us two, feeling the muddled feeling of tension spreading across the room. "I'll... uh... go see what Thunder's up to," he mumbled, disappearing into the mass behind us.

My insides twisted as I finally looked at him. I had heard so much about him months ago, even though he was given a different name. This name was used as a whip in the face or a slice in the back, used against me in-between the beatings.

It wasn't difficult to track down the boy after I was freed. And then, when everything came down to it, when I could finally meet the only person who was hurt worse than me, I sent Beast Boy in my place.

_Coward._

I had been beaten down, self-tortured, haunted, had my flaws spread out for the world to see, and forced to work alongside of him. My team only knew a fraction of what I had gone through at the hands of that madman, and still they pitied me.

But this boy here had gone through far more than I had; yet here he stood: eyes lighter than I thought they could ever be, and a guitar slung over his shoulder.

At least I knew my father – both of my fathers – loved me. My father hadn't hurt me. Not really. Not like his father had hurt him.

He blinked slowly, waking me from my thoughts, and gave me a soft smile.

I smiled back. What else could I do?

I raised my hands. _"Hello, Joey,"_ I spelled out with my fingers.

His eyes brightened while his face paled. He looked at me with newly-acknowledged insight and raised his hands as well.

"_Hello, Robin," _he spelled back. _"It's nice to finally meet you."_

"_Me too. I've heard a lot about you."_

His eyes narrowed slightly and they filled with the same fear I knew would fill my eyes when someone mentioned _him_. _"Hopefully some of it was good."_

I smiled slightly. It was bitter-sweet. _"I can't say. He's not your usual fellow."_

His smile was very, very sad. I'd never seen a sadder one. _"No... No, he isn't."_

I dropped my hands and said, "It's okay. He's gone."

He raised a sceptical eyebrow. _"For good?"_

I shrugged. "So they tell me. Still. Who knows him better than you and I?"

"_He does."_

I sighed. Point taken. I eyed him for a long moment, wondering how to say what I wanted to say without actually saying it.

I held out my hand. "It's good to have you on the team, Jericho."

He smiled back, a _real_ smile. _"It's good to be here," _he signed before he shook my hand.

Perhaps, if I was in a worse mood, I would laugh at the irony of the situation. Here I was, welcoming the son of my worst enemy... And I wasn't lying whatsoever.

I wondered how it felt to him... To shake hands with the boy who had been forced to follow your father and to work with him and who hated him with everything he had. I wondered if Jericho hated that man too.

But somehow, looking at this boy, I had a feeling he didn't. I had a feeling he felt betrayed, and hurt, and tortured, and shattered... But that he didn't hate that man. I could understand why. It's hard to hate your father. Even if he destroyed your life. Even if he destroyed countless others. Even if he took away your power to speak...

There's just something about a father. Any father. And I thought I could relate a little too.

- - - FATHER - - -


	7. Game

Time Line: around the end of Season III.

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Game

"_They say we are birds of a feather."_

"Dude! Nobody can beat me!"

"Yeah right, Green Bean. I am the champion!"

I glanced up at the screen for a quick moment and took in the green and blue cars zipping down the raceway and then spotted the little black car stalled out at the start/finish line.

"I really don't want to play," Raven droned behind me, her voice almost muted by the boys' eager shouts.

I shook my head at them and turned back to my paperwork. I tapped my pen against the papers I was suppose to be reading. With a slight frown, I focused on that part of my mind I had newly discovered with the help of Raven. I tested the warmth residing in that area and carefully chose my words:

_Press the green button._

I decided to ignore my work for the moment and watched the screen instead. A quick puff of smoke came from the car as it butted forward, then stopped. Raven's irritation filled my mind.

I rolled my eyes. _You have to hold it down. The green button is your gas pedal._

_Well, why didn't you say that in the first place? _Her mental voice was tart and I had to keep myself from starting at the sound. I wasn't used to how easily her voice filled my mind.

On-screen, the car slowly began to move, slowly picking up speed until it was zooming down the trail.

"Dude! You just cut me off!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

_Now what?_ she droned.

_You steer through the course._ I sighed and watched as her car neared a sharp curve.

_...I have to steer?_

My hands fisted in order to keep from slapping myself. _Yes, Raven. You have to steer._

_Oh. _There was a mental pause as the curve got closer. _How do I do that?_

_The control stick, Raven, _I sighed mentally. _Turn it the same direction you want the car to go in._

I felt a heave of air echoing in my mind and hitting my ears as Raven sighed. I watched as her car took the turn too sharply, almost going over the top of the curve.

_Slow down! _I sent, controlling my face. After all, technically we were cheating. _Ease up on the gas!_

_You mean the green button, _she corrected, but did as I said. For some reason I sighed with relief the moment the curve was behind us.

"Ha! First lap!"

"Man! You totally cheated!"

"Did not!"

"Did t- Ha! Got'cha!"

"Duuuddeee! How'd you get a flying bomb?"

"I'm not gonna tell you! So, ha!"

"Not fair!"

_Flying bomb? s_he sent, her mental voice almost worried.

_Don't worry about it, _I soothed, watching the screen. _Just watch out for the lily pads._

_They're on the water._

_Yes, Raven._

_...What happens if I fall?_

_A giant hand pulls you out._

_...What?_

I sighed again and sent her the image of my shoulders slumping in exasperation. _Just don't fall in. If you steer correctly, you'll be fine._

_That's a big if, _she grumbled. As her car drove off the land, it bounced unto a lily pad and went flying off into the air. _Um... Is it suppose to do that?_

I stifled my mental and physical laugh. _Yes, Raven. Just steer towards the next one._

I felt her mental nod. _Right._

Slowly, my lips curled up into a small grin as her little black car bounced neatly from pad to pad. _Nice job, _I congratulated.

_Thanks._ Her voice was back to its usual dryness but my heart raced with her excitement. This bond thing was weird, but I was quickly getting used to it. I was feeling _for_ her and _with_ her. And she felt with me.

Then, a bridge appeared in her small little block of screen. It covered a huge gorge and a wind shook the wooden planks violently.

_Robin?_ she questioned.

_Just look at where you want to go and steer, _I instructed. _Don't freak._

_Yes, sir._

I frowned at her sarcasm, but it turned into a smile when she passed the bridge with no problems.

_Yes!_ I cheered when she passed the finish line.

_I'm done? s_he asked, her monotone back.

_Well... no, _I admitted. _That was just the first lap. You've still got two more to go._

_So, I have to do that all over again?_

_Uh... yeah._

A sigh rippled through my mind. _Oh, jo-_

"Hey!" I objected as giant red letters spelling RETIRED blocked off Raven's screen.

"Ha!" My head spun around to see a dancing Cyborg. "You just crashed and burned, B!"

Beast Boy glared at the hybrid as he sulked. "Rematch, Cy! Right here, right now!"

"You're on!" Cyborg agreed, gloating at his win.

"Me too," Raven said softly. We all turned to look at her. "I want a rematch too."

"Uh..." Cyborg blinked. "Well.... If you really want one..."

"I do." She settled back against the seat and turned her emotionless face back to the screen. Her hands barely grabbed the controller and I frowned at the way it looked like it would slip right out of her grey hands.

I tuned them out once Cyborg and Beast Boy began arguing over the course name and turned back to my work. Wasn't I doing something with our bills? Something about groceries...? Oh yes, Starfire went mustard crazy again last week. I'd have to talk to her about that-

_Robin?_

I blinked and the thoughts of lecturing Starfire went right out my mind. _Yeah, Raven?_

_Lava is shooting up from the floor._

I frowned and glanced up at the screen. _Oh. That one. Just steer around them._

_More steering?_

_You always steer, Raven._

_Oh. Darn._

I laughed mentally, physically looking down at the papers again. _And watch out for the Lomps too._

_...The what?_

I grinned while rolling my eyes. I might be here for awhile.

- - - GAME - - -


	8. Hyde & Jekyll

A/N: I'm trying to figure out the difference between Robin the Boy Wonder and Dick Grayson. And the line keeps fading! No wonder Robin's so confused!

Also, thanx so much for all the reviews! Snow days allow for more writing time! Ha-zah!

Time Line: post-Tokyo

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**Hyde and Jekyll**

"_You're up, then you're down."_

The doors slid open with the customary whoosh of air and the five of us trudged into the Common Room. Cyborg and Beast Boy leaned on each other while Starfire floated sporadically. Raven and I crawled along towards the couch and, as if on cue, the five of us fell on the seat with groans of pain. It'd been a long, hard day.

"Man... when did the Hive Five get so hard?" Cyborg muttered.

"While we were fighting Dr. Light, Mumbo Jumbo, Kitten, Fang, Killer Moth and Punk Rocker," Raven answered in an equally soft tone.

"Obviously we need to train more," I said in as loud a voice I could muster. Still pretty quiet.

"Dude! You've gotta be kidding me!"

**I leaned back against the couch. "Training is important, but... I think we can wait. Sleep in. Have pancakes tomorrow morning."**

"Beast Boy, we shouldn't have had that much trouble beating the Hive Five," I replied. "They shouldn't have even been a threat."

"Robin, perhaps we should complete the training after we have all successfully received our sleep of beauty," Starfire murmured, dropping her head on my shoulder. I grunted at the pain that came with the impact.

**"Ow. Well, a little pain never hurt anyone." I stayed silent for a moment before smirking slightly. "It's all worth it. It's not everyday you see a catfight like _that_ one! Who knew Kitten had it in her?"**

I laid my head on top of hers when she tried to move it off. "It's alright, Star. You hit that wall kinda hard; are you okay?"

"Yes, I am fine."

"Robin," Raven interrupted. "I have to agree with Beast Boy and Starfire. We really should rest first."

"**Ha! That's a first!" I raised my head to glance over at her. "You're usually on my side; what happened?"**

"Fine," I relented. "We can rest first. But we are gonna train harder tomorrow."

The team groaned. "Star," Cyborg said, frustration lacing his voice. "Knock some sense into that boyfriend of yours."

"I do not have enough energy to complete such a needful act, friend," she answered. "I apologize."

"**Knock some sense? I have lots of sense! Obviously my listening skills need a bit of work, but..."**

"No excuses," I muttered, annoyed. Having a split-personality was not fun. Especially when your other side never shut up.

"**You think you're any better?" I scoffed. "All work and no play makes Robin a very dull boy. You barely even have time for a decent make-out session anymore-"**

I rolled my eyes. _Shut up, Dick._

_- - - _HYDE & JEKYLL - - -


	9. Insanity

A/N: Thank you guys SO much for all of the reviews. You guys are all sweethearts!

This one, I admit, is one of my favourites. And why? Because I get to torture Robin, of course!

Time Line: post-Season IV.

* * *

**Insanity**

"_He's only happy hysterical."_

Running. Running through the darkness, running from _him. _He always chases, always runs after me. But I can't stop running, I always have to run. Can't let him catch me, can't let him capture his prize.

_Trigger? There is no trigger. Because there is no detonator._

The sound of his boots click against the rocky ground. Our breaths are loud and heavy in the silence and I know he's there. He's _always _there. I can't stop him, I'll never be able to stop him. But I can't stop trying either. I have to do something. I can't give up.

_Attack, Robin. Attack with everything you've got._

I screech to a stop and gasp involuntary at the sight before me. He can't be there! It's impossible! There is no logical way that he could appear in front of me when seconds ago he was behind me. Following me. Every one of his steps matching mine. Perfectly.

"No," I breath. "No!" I clutch my head, shaking it. This can't be.

_On the contrary, Robin. It's just begun._

"Now, Robin," he scolds in his condescending manner. "This is your nightmare. Whatever happens is not my doing, but yours."

"No," I shake my head, stepping back. The voices close in around me. "You're not real."

_I'm real enough to finish you!_

"Obviously I am, Robin." He begins to pace as he lectures, like he always did. Like he always, _always_ does. "Did you really think that I would just disappear? Robin, Robin, Robin," he stops before me and I can barely stop myself from shuddering. The way he says my name...

"If you're out there, then show yourself!" I shout at him. "Hiding in the shadows like an everyday thief. Like a coward."

"Coward?" I know that behind that mask, he's smirking. I can hear it in his voice. "Robin.... That was pathetic."

_I was testing you. For some time now, I've been searching for... an apprentice._

I glare at him. "I'm not doing this for you. I'm not trying to put on a show for you, Slade. I could care less about what you think!" Somewhere in the back of my mind I wonder why I'm trying to justify myself. How I suddenly found myself on the defendant's side of the line.

"Then who are you trying to show, Robin?" He takes a step towards me with every name. "Raven? Beast Boy? Cyborg? Starfire?" He's too close to me so I take a step back. A low chuckle comes from the inside of that mask.

_I made you my apprentice. All my knowledge, all my power, all for you. But the only thing you care about are your worthless... little... friends!_

"Your old man from Gotham, perhaps?" he adds.

I can feel my eyes narrow. "He has nothing to do with this. None of them do!"

"I doubt that, Robin. After all, every son wants to makes their father proud of them." I know he's smirking again.

_Who knows? I might even become like a father to you._

"Go away!" I shout. "Leave me alone!"

I turn to run; where, I don't know, but I do know that I have to get away. Far away. I can hear him following me and I start zig-zagging in an attempt to lose him in the dark. I just need to escape.

_You and I are so very much alike._

Suddenly, the ground beneath my feet crumbles and I fall, but I refuse to scream. I won't give him that satisfaction. I land and grunt as I roll from the force of the free fall. I struggle to my knees and catch my breath. I slowly raise my head and shake at the sight before me.

He's right there again. Laughing at me. That's all he's ever done, you know.

"Go _away_!" I scream. "_Leave me ALONE_!"

The darkness fades into grey and a low, mysterious fog spreads across the ground. He fades away with it and I sigh in relief. He's gone. He can't have the last word this time.

_It's always been about you... you... you.._

I drop my head to the disappearing ground and sob, wishing the sound of it would block out his echo. I can never win against him.

- - - INSANITY - - -


	10. Juvenile

A/N: _Merci_, _merci_, for all the reviews! I'm so glad you're all enjoying these... And I'm sorry for making you all conflicted about loving the angst, but hating Robin hurting. It is quite a predicament. But! Here's a happy one. So... Be happy!

Time Line: Season V. "Snowblind" to be exact.

**

* * *

**

Juvenile

"_Dancing and prancing in jingle bell square."_

Green eyes blinked in confusion, and a tanned hand tried vainly to cover up her giggles. When that didn't work, she ducked her head into her scarf and released her glee.

Robin scowled at her. "Just because _you're_ not affected by the temperature as much as we are, doesn't mean you can laugh at _me_."

She doubled over, trying to restrain herself. "I do apologize, friend Robin... But you do look very ridiculous."

He glared, and crossed his arms over his thick jacket. His hands, protected by heavy, red gloves, fisted as he tried to keep from snapping at his best friend. "Look. We don't have to go in the snow. We can just stay inside-"

"Oh, no you don't," Cyborg interrupted, slamming a gloved hand over the boy's mouth. "You're going."

Robin's masked eyes narrowed, and he stomped his steel-toed boots, neatly landing on Cyborg's unprotected foot. He smirked at the yelp that followed. "Don't tell me what to do."

"C'mon, Robin!" Beast Boy whined, leaning around the glaring hybrid. "You never have any fun! And we never have snow in Jump! Just one hour..."

He bared his teeth. "I don't have time for this. I have a lot to do, and we really can't stay here-"

"But, Robin..." Beast Boy pouted and morphed into a little green kitten.

Robin blinked down at his friend. "A polar bear may do you more good, Beast Boy."

The kitten spat at him before changing back into the green skinned boy. "Dude! You didn't mind it yesterday when we trekked through the snow all day long!"

"Because we had to!"

"Robin," Raven interrupted. "If I have to go out, so do you."

Robin glared at her, wishing for once that he didn't have his mask. It really detracted from the death sentence he was trying to inflict upon her at the moment.

With a heavy sigh, Cyborg grabbed Robin by the waist and slung him over his shoulder. His robotic fingers dug into the material of the coat as Robin struggled. "Shall we?" he asked, ignoring the kicks and yells that were erupting from their young leader.

The others nodded, some more enthusiastically than others, and out they went.

It was cold out that day, a kind of still cold that swept into your bones and settled there, hidden within your blood. Only by moving around could you keep that cold from freezing your blood and paralyzing your limbs. Luckily, though, the wind had decided to keep away for the day, so there was no chance of wind chill. Robin wasn't overly grateful.

Cyborg unceremoniously dropped Robin unto the snow, wisely choosing not to comment on the high-pitched yelp his leader let out. "Now, we're gonna build a snowman," Cyborg informed him over the low muttering. "So you can stay here and freeze your butt off, or you can join us."

He received a glare as an answer.

Cyborg shrugged. "Your loss, man." He turned away and stepped over to the others, who were gathering snow for their creation.

Robin crossed his arms, muttering to himself. "Stupid snow, stupid cold, stupid need to have fun in it. It's just frozen water!"

He sighed angrily and fell back into the snow, having arrived at the conclusion that he was already wet, so getting a little wetter wouldn't do him much harm. He spread his arms out and slowly moved them up and down, up and down. The cold wasn't that bad as long as you kept moving; so he guessed he'd keep moving.

"Friend Robin, what are you attempting to do?"

He smiled slightly at the shadow covering him. "Making a snow angel."

"A snow angel?" There was silence for a long time as Starfire tried to puzzle that out. "You are making a celestial being?"

"Yup."

"Ah." She fell silent again, blinking down at his moving form. "Might I also make a snow angel?"

"Sure." He paused for a moment, before motioning beside him. "Set yourself down, but give yourself lots of space."

He waited as she floated over and smiled slightly at the sound of her landing in the white cold. "Now, just wave your arms and legs back and forth like I am."

"Very well."

He heard the shifting of snow as they moved, pushing the snow away and firming it up beneath them. Off in the distance, he could hear the cries of Cyborg and Beast Boy and the unfamiliar ones of other boys. Maybe a bunch of Russian boys had decided to play a game of snow football with them.

"Robin?"

He hummed his acknowledgment, lifting his head slightly to find Starfire right across from him. "Yeah?"

"Has this been enough time?"

Robin thought for a minute. "Yeah, sure. Just don't mess up your angel. Just float up."

"Yes, Robin," he heard her answer obediently. He paused in his movements, waiting for her reaction. Sometimes, that was the best part of showing Starfire new things about Earth.

"Oh, Robin! It is most glorious!"

Correction: It _was _the best part of showing Starfire new things about Earth.

He laughed lightly. "Yeah, they are pretty cool. Wanna help me up?"

Within a moment, a tanned hand was held before his face, and he grabbed it with both hands. A second orange hand went over both of his, and he was swiftly pulled up. He stumbled, narrowly missing the base of his angel. He grabbed Starfire's hands as he tried to get his footing, then turned to see what he had accomplished.

"Oh, Robin!" Starfire gushed behind him. "It is most beautiful!"

Robin nodded to himself. "Yeah, it's not bad," he allowed. Now his back was soaked though.

"Oh, Robin." Now she was scolding him. He peeked a glance up at her, and saw her disappointed frown. "Why can you not see its beauty?"

"Star, it's just an ang-" His words were cut off with a gasp as something slammed into his cheek. He stumbled, his hand waving widely at his face.

Starfire's gasp caused him to look around, and then he noticed where he was standing. Right in the middle of his angel's dress.

"Hey!" He swung his head over and glared at the other boys. "What was that for?"

Beast Boy shrugged innocently. "What? We didn't throw that. Raven did."

Robin scoffed, but turned away. He wasn't going to get thrown into the middle of that game. Brushing off the snow that had landed on his jacket and pants, he started for the house they were staying at. "Whatever. I've got work to do-"

Another snowball hit the back of his skull with so much force, he fell over and landed face first into the snow. He gasped widely for the breath that had been knocked out of him, and lifted himself up on his elbows. His annoyance grew at the boyish laughter behind him. Like hell, they hadn't thrown it.

A familiar giggle sounded beside him, and he glanced over his shoulder at a Starfire who was trying vainly to muffle her giggles. With narrowed mask, Robin covertly gathered snow between his gloves.

"Robin, are you in-" Her words were cut off with a light gasp as Robin nimbly swung a perfectly round snowball at her chest. As her hands flew to brush herself off before snow fell down her shirt, Robin picked himself off the ground.

"No, Star. I'm fine," he answered cheekily.

Starfire's eyes narrowed at him playfully before she scooped down.

Robin's eyes widened. "Crap," he muttered, before taking off.

Another snowball – more of a disfigured cube than a sphere – flew by his right shoulder as he ran, and then another hit him in his other shoulder. As he scrambled to keep his balance, he saw the Russian boys bending over, forming dozens of prefect snowballs with more speed and skill than Robin thought possible.

Well, it's not like they had anything else to do with their time.

He cried out as a wave of snow came at him, and he made for the giant tree close by. Laughing despite himself, he felt shock settle over his shoulders as the branches he was just passing under turned black with magic.

Oh. Maybe Raven actually had thrown that first one.

Snow fell over his shoulders, on his head, on his back, all over him. It brought him down and he fell to his knees as he was buried beneath a tree-full of snow. Cold blackness settled over him and he let himself sink into it. He woke up shortly after though, and clawed at the snow covering him.

As soon as light peered through his dungeon, it was blocked by a hybrid face. "Hey, Rob," Cyborg called to him. "You alright?"

And with a swiftness that might have surprised him if he hadn't done things like this before, Robin swung a snowball into his friend's face. As Cyborg drew back, spluttering for air, Robin poked his head out of the mass of snow.

He surveyed the area around him, feeling a strange, ridiculous connection with the February 2nd groundhog, then smirked at the faces around him. Picking one out from the crowd, he pointed at her.

"Raven. I declare war on you."

Her grey-skinned face grew surprised for half a second before a confident gleam in her violet eyes covered it. "Bring it," she droned.

As Beast Boy gave Robin a hand out of his abruptly made igloo, Robin shook himself off. He mentally shrugged as Beast Boy declared himself on Robin's team, and Raven chose Cyborg and Starfire for hers.

_Well... If you can't beat 'em..._

He bent, kneeling on the ground as he made another snowball. Maybe some of those Russian kids could teach him a thing or two.

- - - JUVENILE - - -


	11. Knife

A/N: I would like to point out that the lyrics are from the song, "Jumper," by Third Eye Blind or Bedlight for Blue Eyes. That song, by the way, is totally Robin's song. No doubt about it.

Time Line: pre/early-Season I

* * *

**Knife**

"_I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend."_

"Yo! Who's turn to make supper?"

I look up from my laptop screen and glance over at Cyborg, whose arms are folded over his metallic chest. I turn back to look at the couch I'm sitting on where, further down, Beast Boy is playing his game, Starfire is watching with enraptured eyes, and Raven's reading another thick novel. I inwardly shudder at the thought of any of then cooking. (Tofu, Tamarian fungus or messed up pancakes. Yum.) I sigh and close my laptop, knowing full well what's coming next.

"Dude, why can't we just go get pizza?"

"Because we have pizza every night," Raven answers in her monotone.

"So?"

"Friends, why do I not begin to create nourishment for us all? It would be my pleasure to feed you!"

"Um...."

"I'll cook."

The other four stare at me in amazement. In the six months that this team has been around, never once have I offered to cook. I stand, taking my laptop with me and walk over to Cyborg. Giving him my laptop, I tell him to keep it safe and away from Beat Boy, and enter the kitchen.

I open the refrigerator, hoping there's some decent food still there. I see mushrooms, tomatoes, apples, noodles and ground beef and I grin, already knowing what I'm going to make. I take everything out and then grab about five cans of tomato sauce and some spices from the cupboard and carry them to the counter. _This should be fun_, I think as I rub my hands together in anticipation.

After I've got the tomato sauce and ground beef cooking up in a large pot, I start to wash the fruits and vegetables. Everyone is watching me, wondering how I learned to cook, but I ignore them. This is _my_ time. I grab the apples, a knife, a plate and drag over a garbage can. Rolling my shoulders, I take a deep breath. I haven't cooked for awhile.

I remember how Mom taught me to cut apples – first in half, then in fourths, cut out the core, then eighths, then peel. But I know I can't do it with my gloves on, so I take them off. I can hear them gasp at the sight of the scars, but I don't listen to them. I just cut the ruby red apples.

After the apples come the tomatoes and mushrooms. Alfred taught me how to cook these, whether it was his plan to or not. The kitchen was always a nice place for a lonely boy. Picking up the knife, I slice through the first tomato.

Back in Wayne Manor, I wasn't allowed anywhere near the knives. That rule used to extend to not being allowed in the kitchen, but luckily the old butler realized that being in the kitchen lessened the hurt. Bruce never liked it though and always made sure Alfred kept an eye and a half on me. Maybe it was a good idea.

I hadn't meant to cut myself that first time. The knife had slipped and had neatly sliced my thumb open. But it hadn't hurt like I always thought it would, so I just let it bleed. The second time was another accident, but this time I tasted the blood. The cut was smaller too, so it healed faster. I never cut myself, the knife just kept slipping.

Bruce never believed that. Knives were quickly forbidden to _look_ at, let along touch. Then battles bought about their own bruises, broken bones and bleeding wound. It wasn't the fractured bones though that disturbed Bruce, it was when my hands and wrists bled. I never understood what he was so afraid of.

Did he think I cared so little that I wanted to die? Had he wanted to die when he was a boy? Was that it?

Finding a final tomato, I start to cut again, pushing away my thoughts. One slice, two slices, three slices...

"Robin!" Starfire gasps.

I glance down at my hand and see a deep cut bleeding heavily. I curse under my breath - damn, that hurts! - drop the knife and suck up the blood on my palm.

There's another scar.

- - - KNIFE - - -


	12. Lame

A/N: I am taking liberties with Terra in this one, I will admit it. There's no proof that she's afraid of blood, but there's nothing proving me wrong either. I wasn't going to make her afraid of blood, but I suddenly got this image of them in the alley, and I asked, "Terra's afraid of blood?" And Robin said, "Yeah, she is." I can't say I argued too hard.

Oh, and there's a Kim Possible reference in here if you can find it. Can you find it?

Time Line: between Titan Rising and Betrayal.

**

* * *

**

Lame

"_I might let you carry me."_

"Ow!"

I fell back over unto my back, nursing my sore hand. I rolled back up onto my knees and glared at the string bean in front of me. She glared right back, inching away like a young, frightened animal. I wondered if she even knew she was doing that, or if it was all a subconcious mistake.

I blew out an angry breath, trying to keep my temper. "You didn't have to kick me," I bit out.

Her blue eyes turned darker in her anger. "You shouldn't have touched me," she retorted.

My hands clenched into fists. "I'm trying to help you."

"Do you feel up every girl you work with?"

"I'm not feeling you up!" I snapped. "Your knee is bleeding!"

Her already pale face paled even further, and she nervously glanced down at her skinny, skinny legs. She inhaled sharply and dropped to the ground. Her eyes rolled back in her skull, and she leaned her head back against the wall of the alley we were inhabiting. Long, blond hair fell limp against the dark, griminess of the brick.

"Oh no, oh no, oh no," she chanted softly, stretching her legs away from herself.

I watched her for a long minute, weighing the scales. Would she kick me again if I tried to help? Or would her fear of blood keep me safe? Another minute of watching her panting for breath decided me. I sighed heavily.

"Give me your leg," I ordered, holding out my hands. I'd even taken off my gloves earlier so it wouldn't feel quite as alien. A quick glance at my hands told me she'd made my knuckles crack open. Great.

She warily stretched out her leg, and I grabbed it in both hands. I sat down on the ground, ignoring the dirt. Heroes didn't care about clean clothes. Looking carefully at her knee, I frowned. Where was that cut? Glancing over her entire leg - it wasn't my fault she wore shorts. She could've worn pants if she wanted to cover up - I found the culprit a couple inches above her knee. Spreading my hands out on either side of the cut, I winced in sympathy. It was a fairly deep, short cut; probably caused by shrapnel. I was going to have to clean it out when we got back to the Tower. As it was, I was going have to wrap a bandage around it to keep it from getting any dirtier.

"Hold still," I told her, reaching for my belt. I knew there was something in there I could use. With a satisfied chuckle, I pulled out the handkerchief Alfred had always hidden in my belt, whether I wanted him to or not. It had turned out to be quite useful over the years, and was stained with dried blood. It would work for tonight.

I tied it firmly around her leg and cringed when she cried out softly in pain. "Sorry," I muttered, trying to adjust it so it was comfortable. Looking over my job critically - I could've done a better job at folding the handkerchief, but the tying job was good - I leaned back and looked over at her face. Her eyes were still closed tightly and her breathing was short and shallow.

"It's okay. I'm done."

She peeked her eyes open, then smiled softly. She grabbed the wall with her hands and tried to get to her feet. I swiftly grabbed her waist and pulled her back down. She squawked in surprise and dropped onto her rear.

I glared at her. "You're going to stay off that leg for the next couple days," I told her.

Fire burned in her eyes. When blood pooled in her cheeks and her eyebrows drew together in her anger, I could see what Beast Boy liked about her. She was a little cute.

"What? But we've got a job to do-"

"And you can't do it properly if you're limping on down the road," I cut her off. "So, you're off duty until Thursday. Maybe Friday if it doesn't look better."

Her mouth fell open. "You've got to be kidding me!"

I raised an eyebrow. _Note serious face_, I thought sarcastically, remembering something Beast Boy said fairly often when I questioned him. "I'm not," I said instead.

"But you never take any breaks!"

I rolled my eyes and got to my feet. "That's besides the point. As team leader, I have to show a good example-"

"Of working yourself to death?"

"And as the newest member, _Terra_, it is your duty to listen to me." I looked down at her, wondering why she was more attractive when she was angry than when she was happy. "And that's that."

"You're such a hypocrite." She folded her arms over her chest and looked away.

I sighed through my nose. She was as impossible as Beast Boy sometimes. I looked back up into the sky and noticed the greyness peeking through. "I think we're done for the night. I'll take your shift Wednesday."

"Didn't you just have a shift the other night?"

I glanced down at her. I was going to have to carry her, wasn't I? "Yeah. So?" I asked, wondering if she was going to kick me again.

"And you just had one tonight. And now you're going to take Wednesday's shift too?"

I nodded. "Yup."

She shook her head at me, her blond hair darker in the night. "Don't you ever sleep?"

I bent down and put one arm behind her back and one under her bent legs. "Not really." I picked her up swiftly, wincing when she yelped in my ear. "Stay still!" I snapped when she wiggled in my arms.

She froze, then flopped against me. She still wasn't very heavy. Cyborg needed to feed her more. "Well, you're not very comfy," she argued. "Let me guess; you don't eat either?"

I frowned as menacingly as I could. "I have a high metabolism," I answered, shoving away the guilt that was poking me in the shoulder. Alfred had always commented on my lack of appetite too. But I had waves and patterns - sometimes going completely without food, and sometimes gorging to the point of sickness. They used to worry that I couldn't decide if I was anorectic or bulimic. But I wasn't either. My stomach was just weird.

She folded her arms, still frowning as I stepped out of the alley. "Stupid kids," she grumbled.

I nodded. "Kids are stupid. That's why they need heroes to protect them."

She hummed, but not necessarily in agreement. "Robin?"

"Yeah?"

She was silent for a long moment. "Thank you," she whispered finally.

I glanced down at her. My R-Cycle wasn't that far away now; we were almost there. "You're welcome."

She nodded slowly, her thoughts far away.

Reaching my R-Cycle, I plopped her down on it. She sighed, then settled herself, moving down so I could drive. I checked over my bike for any damages, then looked over at her.

Carefully, I reached out a still-gloveless hand - I had left them in the alley again. That was the third pair this month! - and tucked a wave of hair behind her ear. She jumped, then stared up at me with big, blue eyes. I almost frowned at the conflict in them.

"You're gonna be okay," I said softly, choosing not to comment on her eyes. "We're gonna look after you, you know."

She nodded slightly, and I took my seat. She wrapped her bony arms around my waist, and I revved up the engine. We didn't talk for the trip back to the Tower, nor on our way to the infirmary.

At the infirmary, I set her down on the counter, and unwrapped her cut so I could treat it a bit better. I had the disinfectant in my hand and was just about to use it, when she said my name again.

I stopped and looked up at her. "Yeah?"

She frowned to herself before she glanced up into my masked eyes and smiled slightly. "Nothing," she said, shaking her head.

I frowned at her, then let it go. We all had secrets.

I had to carry her back to her room afterwards; half because of her leg, and half because she was almost asleep on my shoulder. I punched in the override code, and entered her room. I pulled back the covers and set her down. She stretched out and sighed happily, kind of like Beast Boy did when he was in cat form. With an indulgent smile, I tucked her in.

"Robin?"

I looked at her face again. She sure was fond of my name tonight, wasn't she? "Yeah?"

She smiled sleepily at me. "Thanks for caring."

I smiled with more feeling this time. "You're a part of this team, Terra. And I watch over my team."

Her smile grew mischievous. "Like a mother hen, huh?"

I made a face, which caused her to break out in giggles. "Ha, ha," I muttered, not amused by her bird analogy. "Get some sleep; you're getting punchy."

She giggled again, but stilled when I brushed her hair out of her eyes again. She watched me with very serious eyes, like she was trying to read into my motions. I wonder what exactly she found.

"Good night, Terra. I'll have someone check on you in the morning."

"Okay," she breathed.

I stepped away from the bed and turned the light by the side of the door off. I left the room and turned for my room, on the other side of the Tower.

She was just like a little kid, I thought to myself. Scared and shy, but refusing to let it overcome her. And she, too, needed someone to watch over her, someone to care. Too many people got hurt because they thought that no one loved them. I hoped she knew that we all loved her and meant the best. We would never want her to get hurt.

- - - LAME - - -


	13. Morning

A/N: Apologies to everybody - I was grounded... 'sweatdrops' Yup. Which is why this took so long. So, yeah. Sorry again. Enjoy this one, please!

Time Line: post-Season IV.

**

* * *

**

Morning

"_Let in the brilliant light."_

"You're here early."

He didn't bother to turn his head – it took too much energy and he hadn't slept well that night – but he did greet her with a smile. "Morning, Raven."

"Good morning, Robin." Even though her voice didn't betray her, he could feel the happiness she was feeling. "Don't you ever sleep?"

His smile turned bittersweet and he shrugged lightly. "Sometimes. Not if I can I help it."

"Nightmares, huh?"

He shrugged again. "Memories actually. Close though."

He could feel her step up behind him, her cloak waving in the wind. "Ah." Mentally, he could see her shifting through topics to switch to, and then her annoyance at the only one she could think of. "It's going to be a nice day out."

He smirked. "We're talking about the weather, now?"

Her annoyance shifted into irritation, and he had to hold back his laugh. She was so easy to rile up. "If you can come up with anything better..."

"Do you sometimes wish we weren't heroes?"

It fell out of his mouth, dropping into the air like a round, fat raindrop. It hit their ears with a loud 'plop' and stunned them for a moment. Then he grimaced. He hadn't meant to say that.

The silence was there, right in front of them. Robin wished he could grab it and throw it away.

"What would we be then? If we weren't heroes, I mean."

He exhaled as slowly as he could, trying to mask the sigh of relief for what it was. She wasn't going to question him. One of the best, and sometimes worst, aspects of Raven: she tried not to pry.

"We'd be normal."

"Robin. You're the only one of us who could pass as normal."

He cringed away, stepping closer to the edge of the roof, closer to the rising sun. It was peeking out of its covers now; the top of its head a bright, bright orange that was turning the sky around it a beautiful purple. He wished he knew how that happened.

"Well... Maybe Cyborg wasn't in that car accident; and maybe Beast Boy didn't get sick; and maybe Starfire would be Grand Ruler; and maybe..."

"Alright." Her drone was very heavy, which indicated her concern almost as well as their mental bond. "Let's go one step at a time.

"Beast Boy got bit by a green monkey. If he hadn't, he would've been killed with his parents in Africa."

"We don't know that," Robin interrupted, wanting to win this argument. It had been bothering him for a long time now. "And I don't want to hear all about the would-haves, could-haves, should-haves. Just... Imagine what it would be like to be normal."

She was silent for a long time. If it wasn't for their bond (which he both cursed and praised everyday), he might have been able to fool himself into thinking that she was listening to him. As it was, he could hear her thoughts rolling around in that intricate mind of hers as she tried to puzzle him out.

Sometimes he wondered how much she got from their bond; if it was as much as he did, or if her end was completely different than his.

"What brought this on?"

He smirked, admiring the speed at which the sun was rising. Once it began, it seemed desperate to wake up. Maybe it felt it would be a good day today. He wished he could feel the same.

"Is this a, 'I'm not good enough to be a hero' thing; or a 'I'm not worthy to lead this team' thing?" she continued, her tone softer than usual.

"Neither."

It wasn't a lie. It wasn't either of them, although he supposed that they might have given him reason to think about it more than he might have. But he wasn't positive about that theory, so he didn't voice it.

"Uh huh."

Maybe she did get what he did from their bond. It was something to ask when she wasn't so frustrated with him.

"Look. Are you going to go on another pity-spree? Because it gets very annoying."

"You're the only one who knows about the pity-sprees." He resisted the urge to glance over at her, determined not to look at her in any way. He was going to enjoy this sunrise, despite her and her irratating manner to almost hit nails right on their heads. "So, really, it's only annoying to you."

"And you don't care?"

He didn't answer. Sometimes it was fun to make her wonder.

"Is this what you think of every time you watch the sunrise?"

He made a face, surprised at that conclusion. "Raven, _you_ always watch the sunrise with me. What do you think I think about?"

"Sometimes I wonder. You get pretty depressed some days."

"You do too."

"I never denied that."

He frowned. "Can we change the subject again?"

"The weather wasn't good enough for you?"

A chuckle filled the air around them. "No."

They stared out over the sea, watching the rising sun. It was glowing in the sky now, and Robin knew the rest of the world was beginning to wake, ready to start their day.

"It's almost over. Are you coming in now?"

He shook his head. "No."

"Are you sure?"

He could feel her concern and worry spreading across his body like it was hers. With a smile, he sent a wave of the peace the sunrise always gave him. "I'll be down in a minute."

"Okay..."

He felt her drift off, and heard the door open with a squeak of metal. He really, really needed to get that oiled.

He waited for a moment before crossing the roof, angling himself slightly. At the edge, he peered over the side and locked his hands behind his back for balance.

"C'mon, Star..."

Suddenly, the windows a few stories below him swung open and his face split into a grin. He watched as the alien princess floated out of her room to hover in midair. Then, her body began to glow and as it did so, she lifted.

He wondered if she knew what she looked like to a human, or if she even knew that he watched this. He doubted she did, because she would probably question him about his reasons why. And what would he tell her? That it gave him peace?

She was level with him now, her skin pulsing yellow and orange and the sun's rays glittering over her before being absorbed to make her shine brighter. He took a couple steps back and smiled as she threw her neck back, her bare feet curling at the toes. She stretched her limbs out and sighed deeply, still glowing with an ethereal light.

She was a star. _Their _star.

_Robin?_

He stumbled back, before slowly making his way backwards to the door, never taking his eyes off the princess. The yellow was starting to dim, and now she was radiating with an inner light that drew him in. Gripping the doorknob that had suddenly appeared in his hand, he slipped through the door and closed it behind him, spinning so he could lean against it.

He needed to breathe.

_Robin?_

He almost chuckled at the worry in her voice and could see her staring into her herbal tea, frowning at the dark, bitter liquid. _You're right, Raven,_ he sent back. _It _is_ going to be a nice day._

- - - MORNING - - -

* * *

A/N: A note on the whole Starfire thing there. No, it is not necessarily romantic, but it can be taken that way if you want.

My theory with Starfire is that she gets her energy from the sun; her emotions help her express her powers. So, to me, it makes sense that she gets up with the sun and... well, absorbs the sunlight for the day. It's probably the equivalent of us waking up by having a nice shower.

Anyways, if any of you can disprove my theory, then by all means do so. But I think it has some potential, and will continue to use it in my Teen Titans universe.


	14. Nursing

A/N: Thank you, all! Do you realise that we're over halfway done? Scary, isn't it? 'shivers'

Time Line: anytime. Later rather than earlier, though.

**

* * *

**

**Nursing**

_"I know something's wrong."_

A steady beeping filled the room, mingling with the breaths of the inhabitants. The shifting of cloth was barely audible underneath the loud pulsing of the machine, and every now and again a heavy sigh escaped a young mouth. Feet shuffled against the waxed floor and the lights buzzed above their heads.

Cyborg finally took a step back from the display screen. "Well, your heart rate seems normal."

Robin scowled and tightened his already-crossed arms. Why was he even here? For a _headache_? "No duh. I think everyone can hear that, Cy."

The hybrid didn't even bother to glare at the younger boy. "Your blood pressure seems fine, although your breathing rate is a little heavier than it should be-"

"Because I'm trying not to shout-" Robin snapped, feeling his anger waver on the thin thread he was holding it by.

"-and I still want Raven to check you out before you leave." Cyborg finally dragged his eyes away from the screen, and arched his only human eyebrow. "Any questions?"

"Yes. Can I go now?"

Starfire sighed from her spot on Robin's right. "Please, friend. Just allow Raven to inspect you before you go."

"Even if she does say you're all right, I still want you off duty for a little while. Let your body heal-"

"_What_?" Robin shouted, interrupting Cyborg once again. The beeping sped up as Robin became more agitated. "I can't take a couple days off! Who's going to do the paperwork, or do the dishes, or clean the kitchen, or _lead this stupid team_?"

His anger mounted when he noticed his second-in-command fight off a smile. Oh, sure; everyone laugh at the boy on the infirmary cot. If he didn't know Starfire would just push him right back down, he'd get off this bed and go on with his business. He had a lot of things to do; and just sitting here was wasting his time. So what if his head hurt a bit? That was normal. He'd like to see someone else lead this team and _not_ develop a headache frequently.

"We'll be fine for a couple of days, Robin. It's not like we're talking about taking a month off," Cyborg said, almost threatening him.

Robin snarled. From the back of his mind, he heard the beeping increase its tempo, but he ignored it. How dare Cyborg threaten him with bed rest? He was the leader! "But I can't take a break," Robin bit out, struggling not to go for a certain _someone_'s throat.

Beast Boy waved off Robin's anger. He was on Robin's left, although he stood closer to Cyborg than the fuming youth. "Dude, everyone needs a break. Especially you."

"Please, friend Robin," Starfire cut in. "Just rest for a brief period of time-"

"But I'm fine!" Robin shouted. Why wouldn't anyone believe him?

Cyborg blinked, his face returning to its previously bored state. Robin wished he'd actually fight back. It was no fun arguing with someone who wasn't interacting with you. Even Raven interacted more!

"Rob, you ran into a tree."

"It was an accident!" Robin cried, throwing up his arms.

When Beast Boy began to giggle beside him, Cyborg threw a thumb in the green boy's direction. "Man, if B had said something like that, would _you_ buy it?"

"Hey!"

Robin floundered for a moment, trying to construct a come-back. Unfortunately, his mind hadn't been working as quickly since he had hit that tree. That damn tree. Why did it have to grow in that exact spot?!

Finally, Robin exhaled and flopped against the cushions Starfire had brought for him. They were pink, which was annoying, but a lot better than the thin, flat pillow wanna-be's that were designated for the infirmary. At least these were comfortable.

"It's not my fault," he grumbled.

Cyborg rolled his human eye. "Well, since I can't exactly ground-"

"_Ground_?" Robin burst out. Grounded! He hadn't been grounded since... since... since he was in Gotham!

"-cid, I'm stuck with grounding you," Cyborg continued, oblivious to Robin's agony. "And it will be a grounding if you're not careful," he added.

Robin felt his chest heave. How _dare_ he?! He ran this team! He felt burning around his eyes, and shut them tight, turning his head. The pain was slowly beginning to mount, threatening him to go over the edge.

Fighting the lump in his throat, he finally found he couldn't hold back the drumming in his head. It was going at the same speed as the beeping of the heart-rate machine (Cyborg really shouldn't of connected him to that; there wasn't any need), and if it wasn't for the fact that he'd been hearing it for the past hour as opposed to the ten minutes he'd spent in the infirmary, he'd think they were one and the same. But, now that there was nothing holding it back, the drumming that had been pulsing pain through his skull with every breath evolved into a pounding that made his head feel like someone was trying to squeeze his head between two giant palms.

He groaned and bent his legs, dropping his head in between his knees. He squeezed his knees tight to his temples, hoping that would cancel out the giant's attack.

No such luck.

"Robin?" he heard Starfire question, and felt a soft touch on his shoulder.

_Go away, go away, go away, go away-_

Cyborg's heavy sigh sounded above him. "I thought so. I think our boy here's in a lot of pain."

Robin wrapped his arms around his legs and brought them in as close as possible. _Go away, go away, go away, go away..._

"Dude, I'm gonna see what's taking Raven."

"Go on, B."

_Go away, go away, go away, go away-_

Suddenly two cool hands pried his knees away from the burning in his skull, and replaced them with the utmost of care. He felt the pounding ease slightly, then a soft voice, _"azarath, metrion, zinthos..." _and felt his breathing return to normal. The fire that had raged moments ago slowly subsided until all that was left was a lonely smoke signal floating higher and higher as it was carried by the wind. He felt like a current had swept inside his soul and carried away all the anger and the pain, and left this numb feeling. Like when you stood in the water for too long and you couldn't feel anything at all.

The hands slowly left his head and he sagged backwards. He had nothing left inside of him. Another pair of hands, warmer than the last ones, caught him, and let him lean against a soft body.

"There," he heard a dry voice. "That'll do. Next time, listen to Cyborg; and don't follow Johnny Rancid's lead. He's an idiot, and you're above that."

If he had more energy, he would've argued with her. He would've explained that he only ran into the tree because Rancid had ran into the forest and he had chased him. He would've explained that Rancid had dodged that giant oak tree with only inches to spare, and that the only reason his reflexes hadn't kicked in was because minutes ago he had picked himself up after being blasted into a wall (although he didn't really want to explain that, yes, he had been thrown into a wall, and then, yes, minutes after he had chased someone through a densely wooded area) and his head was still dizzy. He would've explained that the only reason why they even knew he had hit that tree was because Beast Boy had morphed out of his squirrel form, and fallen out of the tree when he had laughed himself silly over his leader's actions.

If he had more energy, he would've knocked some serious sense into that boy too.

"You're going to rest," the dry voice said again. "Not that you have enough energy to do anything else."

If had he more energy, he would've stuck his tongue out at her.

He felt the hands on his back be replaced by another set and then a strange set of vertigo, and he wondered who had picked him up. He heard the whooshing of sliding doors and the echo of several footsteps as they travelled down the hall. He wished he could open his eyes, but then decided it wasn't worth it, and resisted the urge to cuddle into the person who was carrying him.

He then felt them pause, and then heard the whooshing of another door opening. They moved forward again and then he was set down on a soft, flat surface. His bed? He stretched out slightly, and then snuggled deeper into the soft mass by his head - his pillow, maybe? He felt a hand pull off his boots and then covers being tucked in around his shoulders. Then he felt a hand touch his head and ruffle his hair.

When he could move again, he'd track down whoever had done that._ No one_ touched his hair.

Then, they stepped away and he felt the darkness settle in closer and settle into the very cells of his bones. They had turned off the lights.

"Goodnight, Rob."

"We shall see you in the morning."

"Sleep, dude. You need it."

"We'll know if you get out of bed."

And then they were gone.

Alone in the darkness, Robin wiggled closer to the softness that surrounded him like a cocoon. His mind was drifting off - Raven had done more than heal him, that was for sure - and he was welcoming it. The pounding was echoing in his eardrums, and he wanted to escape before it got much louder.

Suddenly a thought occurred to him, and he frowned sleepily.

He was off-duty. They had won. Stupid tree.

- - - NURSING - - -


	15. Orange

A/N: Happy belated brithday, Robin!!! I don't know how old you are, but I love you anyways!!!

And, this story is because we can't forget about Cyborg. Sorry it's so short.

Time Line: any time. Earlier than later though.

**

* * *

**

Orange

"_I won't listen anyway."_

"Coffee? _Again_?"

Robin glanced up into Cyborg's annoyed face and shrugged. "What? There's nothing wrong with coffee."

Cyborg shook his head. "Man! That much caffeine early in the morning is not good for a developing body."

Robin's eye twitched. "I'm _not_ a kid," he snarled.

Cyborg crossed his arms. "Rob." He shot the younger boy a disbelieving look. "How old are you?"

His lips curled down into a scowl. "Sixteen."

"See!" Cyborg exclaimed, spreading his robotic arms out. "You're still growing! Drinking that much coffee at such a young age cannot be healthy!"

"I'm older than I am, okay?" Robin snapped, drawing his drink closer to him.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Cyborg rolled his human eye as he stepped into the kitchen and walked towards the refrigerator. Opening the door and peering in, he said over his shoulder, "Seriously, though. That stuff isn't that good for you."

Robin frowned as he picked up his mug. "Whatever, Cy."

"I mean, you could drink so many better things. Like orange juice!" he cried, pulling out the carton.

Robin paused bringing his mug to his lips and raised his eyebrows. "_Orange_ juice?" he repeated incredulously.

"Yeah! It's a basic part of a complete diet! Why, without orange juice," Cyborg continued, walking over to the cupboard, "our society would crumble!"

"Uh huh."

"It would!" he insisted, grabbing a glass. "It gives you Vitamin C, lots of healthy energy, and can quality as one of your daily servings of fruit..." Cyborg trailed off, frowning when nothing poured out into his glass. "Hey! Who drank all the OJ?"

Robin smirked. "I did." He took a sip from his cup. "Last night. But when I woke up this morning, _someone_," and here he sent a nasty look towards the hybrid, "didn't go shopping last week like they were suppose to. So, I was left with coffee." He grabbed his mug and exited the kitchen, making his way towards the door. "I'll see you later, Cy. I've got work to do. If the shopping isn't done, order pizza again. Don't let Beast Boy pick it up this time. The workers there are getting scared. I can't deal with another complaint."

Cyborg watched him with a stunned expression on his face, watching the Boy Wonder leave the Common Room, his cape swishing as the door slid closed behind him. Then he looked back at the carton of orange juice and his empty glass. "Damn," he muttered. "Now what am I suppose to drink?"

- - - ORANGE - - -


	16. Pendant

A/N: I would like to thank RobStar4ever for the idea. When I was at "E", she asked if "F" would be the Flying Graysons. As you all know, it wasn't, but it gave me an idea to fix this up. I wasn't happy with it, and now... I am. So... Thanx!

Time Line: right after "Revved-Up."

* * *

**Pendant**

_"Emeralds from mountains."_

It was smooth to the touch and shiny to the eye; buffered through ages of erosion and man-made machines. It twirled lazily around in circles, first one way, then another. A quick spin of the chain it hung from caused it to form figure eights in the air above him and it glowed from the light in the room.

"Robin?"

Instantly, he yanked on the chain, neatly sending the bauble upwards and into his hand. He clutched the silver chain with the token dangling from it, and brought it close to his chest. He pasted a comforting smile on his face and hoped he wasn't too obvious. "Yeah, guys?"

No such luck. Two pairs of green eyes, a pair of violet ones, and one brown and one robotic eye were all focused on the hand fisted to his chest. Beast Boy, further into the room than the others, let his jaw drop and his eyes grow wide.

"Dude!" he cried, stepping closer. "What was that?" He pointed a purple-gloved hand at his leader.

Robin sighed and relaxed. He really needed to stop tensing every time someone said his name. He slowly opened his hand and held it out in front of him. "Just something."

With a delighted chuckle, the green boy stepped forward, followed closely by a hovering Starfire and a warily stepping Cyborg. Raven stayed in the doorway, keeping her eyes on them. She was probably testing the atmosphere for their emotions, waiting to see when he would go off. They all treated him like he was a time bomb.

Beast Boy knelt down in front of Robin, his hands reaching for the necklace. He grabbed it quickly, and Robin's hand rose to intercept it.

"Careful!" he cried, his voice higher and more frightened than he meant it to be.

Beast Boy paused as he looked up at him, then slowed down after seeing the pleading on Robin's face, carefully turning it over in his hands. A lone finger reached out and brushed the surface of the pendant. "Pretty," he murmured.

Robin peeked up at Cyborg who was looking over Beast Boy's shoulder, before he watched Starfire sit down beside him. She reached for the necklace as well, and the youngest handed it off to her.

She let her hands curl around it and brought it close to her face. She admired it for a long minute without saying anything at all. Slowly, she lowered her hands and raised her head to Robin. She stared at him with eyes nearly the same colour as the pendant, as if she was trying to discern who he was.

"This was your mother's," she said finally. There was no question in her voice.

Robin felt his cheeks heat, but he nodded. "Yeah," he whispered. His hand unwillingly reached for it, like it was attracted to a magnetic force. It always had drawn him in. He brushed the smooth surface, feeling the cool green warm slightly under his naked touch. "My dad gave it to her."

Cyborg peered over their heads, and held out his hands. "Can I?"

Robin drew back, then nodded. Starfire dropped the necklace gently into Cyborg's robotic hands, and Robin winced slightly at the sound of the jewel hitting the metal.

Cyborg winced too. "Sorry," he muttered, before returning his attention to the necklace. He grabbed it by the chain and held it up in front of his face, letting it weave to and fro before him. His two eyes followed its path several times, then he sighed, letting it fall back into his hand. "Must have a cost him a pretty penny."

Robin shrugged, uncomfortable with talk about his wealth. As Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne's youthful ward, he had more than enough for a lifetime. As Dick Grayson, the youngest acrobat in the world, he'd barely had a penny. But he'd been happy.

He started as Raven lowered herself on his other side, her pale hands already reaching for the necklace. When it touched her skin, her eyebrows went up slightly and she frowned to herself.

"This has a strong aura," she mumbled, before examining it.

Robin waited as she touched it, letting her fingers caress the round emerald. Finally, she looked up, and gave something akin to a smile. "What was it for?" she asked softly.

Robin frowned as he tried to remember. "Safe flights... Long flights... Great adventure... Freedom..." He shook his head slightly, then glanced around his circle of friends. "Love."

Raven nodded, then handed it back to him. He pulled it in to his chest, and rubbed his thumb over the shimmering surface. "It's very beautiful," she complimented.

Robin smiled. "I know."

"Hey." When Robin looked over at Beast Boy, the green boy was frowning. "Was that what was in your briefcase?"

Again, Robin felt himself blushing, but nodded. "One of the things."

Cyborg whistled. "No wonder you fought so hard to get it back."

Robin's cheeks grew warmer as Starfire nodded beside him. "It is something worth fighting for."

"No duh," Raven droned. "It's a memory."

Robin drew back slightly, wanting to get away from the understanding emanating from his friends. He wasn't really used to it.

Suddenly, two hands fell on his knees, and another two on his shoulders. As he looked around at his team, they all grinned at him, and he blushed harder, shrugging slightly. They knew how bad he was at emotions. Sometimes he thought it amused them. Other times, it just plain aggravated them.

"So..." Beast Boy muttered, letting his hand fall off of Robin's knee. "What else is in here?" he asked, reaching for the briefcase.

"Oh no, you don't." Cyborg used the hand that had been on Robin's knee to grab the collar of Beast Boy's shirt. "No touching without Rob's permission."

"But, Cy..."

Starfire let her hand fall, and reached again for the necklace. "May I?"

As Robin handed it off again, Raven stood up, her hand returning to her side. "I'll keep an eye on them," she informed Robin.

He smirked as Starfire's coos of admiration wrapped around his ear. "Don't let them mess up my room. The hotel owners won't be impressed."

Raven smirked lightly and her hands glowed with power. "Aye, aye, captain," she droned.

Robin chuckled, then glanced over at Starfire. "It looks good on you," he stated, motioning to how she had placed it around her neck. She beamed in return, before taking it off.

With a low sigh, Robin leaned back and let his legs straighten out on the floor. Crossing his arms behind his head, he tapped his foot idly, but kept his ears open for the sounds of the two boys' bickering, and the soft scoldings of Raven, and Starfire's breathing. It was nice not to be alone.

- - - PENDANT - - -


	17. Quicksand

A/N: Okay, not my favourite. Maybe the worst one. But not bad, all in all. I think, in the end, it became a way for me to describe Robin's shortcomings with relationships, and also of his corniness in regards to his friends and what they mean to him. But I can't say I'm too sure I succeeded.

On another note, I aplogise for the wait. I would like to quote Brain Melo in order to explain myself: "This is all that I ever wanted, but life got in my way..." So, again, I'm sorry. Expect a long wait for the next one too; "R" is proving difficult. After that, updates shoulg speed up.

If anybody has any ideas on how to fix this, please. Let me know.

Time Line: ...throughout all the seasons, I guess.

* * *

**Quicksand**

"_I have sunk so low."_

I've always hated giving up.

Giving up is reflective of loosing and as I've said many times (although my opinion has changed somewhat), 'Winning isn't everything - it's just the only thing that matters'. A bit pig-headed maybe, but nobody's perfect, least of all me. I think it's safe to say that I've only ever given up on a few things and it always hurt; whether at the start or at the end, giving up always hurt more than fighting. Struggling, of course, would make it stop hurting.

Obviously.

I gave up when my parents died. Although I only did it because I knew that if I kept holding on to them I'd lose myself, I've never really forgiven myself for doing so. Logically speaking, seeing how I was the one that survived, it was smarter to do the best I could do at living, instead of wishing I was dead. Smarter to face the past then walk blindly through the future. But logic isn't always the right path to follow.

I gave up when it came to her too, in two ways: the start and the end. It hurt in the middle. It hurt a lot. She had red hair (like Mom's), blue eyes (so do I), shapely legs (visionary), bright, caring (_loving_) personality... She was Babs. I gave up on my feelings, didn't fight a bit. I gave up at the end when I realized that she would never feel anything for me. It hurt so much when all I wanted was love and she could never give it. So I stopped giving up and started fighting. After all, perhaps if I'd been more of a figher, _they'd_ be alive.

I fought for my Robin persona.

I fought for my freedom.

I fought practically everybody that stood in my way.

And I got hurt, bruised, beaten, and broken. Until there was barely anything left to me except a torn, ragged uniform and a lot of lost bood.

Batman saw this. He saw it and ignored it, I think, for quite some time. But then, I made a mistake. One so bad, he couldn't turn his eye away any longer. So he fired me. Cut me loose and told me to go find my own way. That being Robin was hurting me more than it was healing me; and more to the point, it was harming others. Innocent others.

But I, the fighter that I am, decided to take the hard way, to take the long, rocky path, and ran away. I couldn't give up everything I had fought so hard to earn. I moved to Jump City and determined to not gain any friends. I would work alone. I would prove Batman and the rest of this whole world wrong. I would come out on top and be the ultimate evidence that fighting was the best way and, perhaps even more true, the only way that worked.

And now, here I am: sitting on a couch designed by my friend. My best friend hovers at my shoulder, whispering questions about this movie's plot in my ear and shooting electric bolts through my body. My teammate bounces on my other side as he tries to get my other friend to admit that she's actually enjoying herself. My family, still hiding out in Gotham City, may contact me later, or may not. It's hard to say with them.

I couldn't stop these four. They just took over, pushed all my shields aside and refused to accept my cold shoulder. Although I fought them with everything I had they kept at me, pricking my wall away until there was nothing left. So, like I had with my parents and like I had with Babs, I gave up. I let myself fall.

Everything's okay... for now. We're heroes, with our names chanted and respected throughout the entire world. We're friends, there to guard each other's backs through any difficulty.

But how long can it last? It is my experience that giving up does no good. It only ends in tragedy and tears. I wonder how much I have left to give. If I dare give up again. Because if something happens to any of them and I can't save them, then what will be left of me? I don't have an endless supply to give.

It's times like these, with friends like these, that proves why quicksand is so dangerous. You end up sinking either way. It's just a matter of how long you'll be able to fight it, how long you can prolong your death. Maybe you'll be able to last long enough for someone to save you.

But that doesn't happen very often. And never to me.

- - - QUICKSAND - - -


	18. Rooster

Greetings. Maybe I should apologize for taking so long, but... I had school. And that explains almost everything.

'sighs angerily' And then FF erased all of the work I had done, so I lost everything from S-X, which was all written up and ready to post, by the way, and now I have to re-write ALL of them, but maybe it's a good thing, because without it, I wouldn't have thought up "R." But then, on top of all that, Robin decided to shut up on me and refused to say a word.

'blows raspberry in Robin's general direction'

So, here it is. It was originally "Waking Up" but I think I like this title better. Besides, now I have something else for "W." So, hahahaha to you, FF.

And, um, yeah, it's not very long. I'm sorry.

Dedication: To Smokey for inspiring Beast Boy's sleeping position. You have no dignity and I love you for it.

Time Line: any-time

* * *

**Rooster**

_"You're still in bed at ten and work began at eight."_

He strides down the hall with purpose, his speed forcing his cape to billow out around him. He hates doing this three times a week, but as heroes they all have responsibilities to the city and its citizens, and he refuses to let a bit of teenage laziness stop them from doing their job. Maybe he has an advantage from all those years of training with the Batman, but even if he didn't his alarm clock works just as well as the next one. _Theirs_ should work just as well as his too. He shouldn't have to do this.

He stops at his destination, knocking briskly at the door. He waits a moment, allowing the teammate inside to take the hint and open their door before he has to use more extreme measures, but when the door is still shut a minute later he's had enough. It takes little more than ten seconds for him to type in the override code that only he and Cyborg have access to (him because he's the team leader and it's one of those little perks that almost makes up for all the cons; and Cyborg since he built the entire Tower) and the door slides open with a quiet "whoosh."

He peers into the darkness of the room, scanning the bunk beds on the other side of the space, the mess of the open closet, and the chaos that is the floor. He tries to stifle an annoyed sigh; Beast Boy's room is his least favourite and not only because of the smell. Drawing on all of his resolve, he steps across the room towards the foot of the beds. With an easy movement that betrays his litheness and grace, he swings unto the foot of the bottom bunk and grips the bars of the top bunk. He stands up so he can look over the bar and glares at the form on the top bunk.

"Beast Boy!" he hisses. Dogs have exceptional hearing, don't they?

Beast Boy sometimes does this, transforming into different animals for the night, depending on his mood before he goes to bed. Robin has caught him in a number of forms, although a canine is his most common form, second only to human form. So is the case this morning and it makes Robin's glare harden. The boy-dog lies on his side and the snores make his chest shudder.

Robin frowns harder. He doesn't really know why he's whispering, especially since there's no one else around to hear him. "Beast Boy!" he repeats, his voice almost a shout.

The dog growls low in his throat with an almost sleepy quality and rolls over onto his back, exposing himself to the ceiling.

Robin rolls his eyes. "The dignity of a dog," he mutters, hopping off the end of the beds. He strides over to the wall and places his hand over the light switch.

"Wake up, Beast Boy," he orders. "Don't make me flick this switch."

From the darkness, Robin's well-trained eyes spot the dog open one eye and shoot him a dirty look before closing it again. Robin's mask widens at this blunt show of insubordination, then returns to normal as he shrugs. Oh well. He did warn him, after all.

When he pulls the switch down, the light turns on in a brilliant flash of light, so bright that Robin has to close his eyes against it. Beast Boy, however, howls in agony, and Robin opens his eyes at the sound in time to see Beast Boy tumble off the bed, morph back into human form, and land in a terrestrial belly flop. Robin winces in sympathy, but doesn't move to help his friend.

"Dude..." Beast Boy moans. "What was that for?!" he cries with all the strength his newly wakened body can muster.

"You're late for training," Robin says simply. He's not one to beat around the bush, unless the bush is covered with emotions and other weaknesses of his.

Beast Boy groans again, rubbing at his green hair against the bump that's sure to form. "It can't be six already..." he mumbles.

"Six-thirteen, actually," Robin corrects without looking at his communicator for the time. He's done this so often that he knows exactly how it plays out. Unfortunately, it's nearly the same every time (with a few minor glitches - like Beast Boy falling off the bed) and no one else seems to learn.

"Your breakfast is getting cold," Robin reminds him like he does every time. He's not completely heartless; if they all woke up in time, they'd see that he tries very hard to think of them. It's not easy cooking five breakfasts, with every one different as according to the strange tastes his team has.

"Not again..." Beast Boy moans. He's finally managed to sit up and he looks bleakly at the older boy. "Can't we just forget about training this morning?" he asks weakly.

He gets a glare as an answer and Robin turns back to the door. "You owe me thirteen minutes, Beast Boy; more if you're not there by the time I am."

"Dude!" Beast Boy cries. "No fa-"

The door slides shut behind Robin and he sighs into an empty hall. He lets the sound echo against the empty walls for a moment before he sets off for the next room. Hopefully Starfire won't singe his hair this time.

- - - ROOSTER - - -


	19. Star

A/N: Warning - Fluff alert! 'Course, it's more parental/offspring fluff, but it's fluff nevertheless.

Thanx for all the reviews, guys! "T" is giving me a bit of trouble, so you may have a small wait, but nothing like last time.

Time Line: it, uh, kinda spans a lifetime... So... yeah.

**

* * *

**

Star

"_You could be swinging on a star."_

He thinks it was his mother that got him started.

He remembers searching through their trailer for her and, finally surrendering to his father's wisdom, asking for his advice and discovering that she was probably outside. And he, being the young boy that he was, would leave the warmth of his home and finally find her lying on a haystack, or on a blanket, or maybe just on the cool, sweet grass staring up at the night sky. She would ask him to join her and he would, because he loved his mother, and after a long time of staring at the masses of stars she'd ask what it was he wanted. But, of course, by that time he was always too mesmerized by the stars to remember.

It was always hours later that he would wake up in his own bed and realize that he had, once again, fallen asleep watching the stars and listening to his mother's breathing. And it would give him great peace to know that there was so_ much _out there, that there were other planets, and maybe other life. But at the same time it intimidated him, in the knowledge that he was so small. So very, very small.

When his parents died, with his mother's last word echoing in his ears, he was so utterly terrified that he would ache too much to watch the stars. But somehow, he managed to get out of his old, smelly bed the orphanage had lent him and walk over to the large window, pull back the curtain and look up into the speckled black. And, for as long as he could, he stood there watching the sky; knowing that whenever he dared to look away, all of the sadness would come rushing back.

So he watched. And he listened. And he hoped.

He wasn't a very religious person. Sure, he believed there was a God and he believed that his parents were in heaven (it was all, really, he had to hold onto), but he didn't read the Bible or pray. But he hoped. And that gave him something to believe in.

After getting adopted (or taken into foster care, but it was all the same in his mind now) he continued to watch the stars, wondering if his parents were happy and sending them silent letters he would compose late at night. They always started full of hope and ended lonely and lost. Because he was so very, _very_ lost. He would tell them, too, about Bruce and Alfred and the new school he was going to and all that he had thought about that day but was afraid to talk about. There were an unfortunate lot of those.

Robin was born during those days. He got into a lot of trouble at first for pausing in the midst of a patrol or, after being hit hard by one villain or another, staring up at the sky for longer than necessary. He was a hero; there was no time to daydream; they had a job.

Job. Could Batman have found a better way to take the fun out of being a hero?

But, Robin smartened up (always making sure his job was done first, before he lost himself in the night wonder), and the work stayed fun, if a little more dangerous. As he grew, the villains did too, and sometimes he thought he would never catch up, never be able to defeat one on his own. Not without Batman or Batgirl.

Neither of them understood his love for the stars either. They thought he was nuts, loopy; thought that the hero business was going to his head. But Alfred understood, or if he didn't, he didn't question it either, and for that Robin was glad.

But people grow up, and move on; and Robin left Gotham, found Jump City, met the Titans, formed the team... And it was all good, and they were all good for _him_, and he didn't regret it one bit. Besides, the roof was a great place to stargaze with its long, flat structure and it was always a place for him to find Starfire. And, on the nights where he couldn't sleep, he would stay out all night and meet up with Raven in the morning. It was always good, always right.

He would still talk to his parents and try to get all the annoyance of the day off his chest by silently ranting to them. He sometimes imagined what his mom would do in his place when Beast Boy broke Robin's laptop, or what his dad would do when Starfire hugged him a little longer than necessary. He tried to act like they would want him to and tried, successfully, to open up to these strange, new people. He felt like he was growing up and closer to his parents.

He ignored the tiny voice in his head that reminded him of how blurred his memories of them were growing ad focused on how happy this team of his was making him. That by finally feeling like he belonged he was closer to his parents than ever because he almost felt as happy as he did back then. Maybe just as happy.

Still, he never told anyone that the reason he loved to stargaze was because it made him feel close to his parents. Stargazing made him feel like he wasn't alone; that they were still up there, watching him, loving him, gazing at the stars just like he was. But of course, they would be looking down, not up to see the stars.

But they were still the same stars, no matter the view. And that was all that really mattered in the end.

- - - STAR - - -


	20. Trauma

A/N: below

Time Line: anytime

* * *

**Trauma**

_"It was a humble little stumble with a big, ungraceful-"_

There was the echo of running, the rush of the wind and a cry of alarm from above.

A flash of movement, the intake of a breath and the squealing of tires.

A soft shock of impact, an instant slam of pain and the final fluttering of a heart.

In a span of three seconds, it was all over.

- - - - -

"I am so sorry, Beast Boy."

It was the first time the silence had been broken since the flurry of questions, hurried actions, and delayed _re_actions. It was still in the alley, frozen in time and distanced from the bustle of the city. Even the creatures that usually inhabited the alley were far away from the scene of the crime.

Beast Boy didn't respond.

Robin shuffled awkwardly, feeling the weight of guilt press down on his shoulders and chest. In the back of his mind he thought that it really should be pouring rain at this moment, in order to do justice to their moods. But life wasn't written by a cheesy screenwriter with a tendency for cliche plot devices.

Feeling the urge to do something, Robin took a step towards Beast Boy, then retreated again. He felt dirty and ugly and almost evil, and could feel the dark air swirl around him like a cloud of smoke or a hungry snake. He didn't want to hurt the changeling anymore than he already had. Even if they didn't get along half the time - Beast Boy's childlike personality clashing with Robin's strictness and street smarts more than they complimented - they still cared about another. They were still friends (_good_ friends); they would still die for one another.

Or kill.

Robin cringed and forced himself to near Beast Boy, even if only by half a step. Now he could see how the ears drooped towards the ground and feel the lost surrounding the boy. It made a brand new ache creep under his skin.

"Beast Boy?" His words were choked, but a large part of him didn't care. "I'm so sorry. He... he just came out of nowhere..."

Perhaps that wasn't the best thing to say, for it inflicted a soft whimper from the changeling.

Robin didn't mean to make him cry.

"Dude..." The voice was so soft and raw from pain that it cracked halfway through the word. "He's so _tiny_."

Robin winced at the second voice crack, but nodded. It was true. The squirrel _was_ very small, which was one of the main reasons he'd been hit at all.

His masked eyes slid over to the R-Cycle lying hazardously across the alley. If only he'd left it in the garage tonight instead of fueling his stupid pride!

"Is... is there anything we can do?" Beast Boy asked, craning his neck around so he could see Robin standing behind him. The leader towered over the ex-Doom Patrol member's kneeling form and from his high-standing position, the green boy looked very small and pitiful.

Robin shook his head, hating how the hope that had lit Beast Boy's eyes dimmed. He was the cause of that. "He's gone, Beast Boy," he opted to say.

The spandex-clad shoulders slumped and Beast Boy's eyes travelled back to the limp form in front of him. "It's just... he's so _young_! He's never even seen a winter!"

Robin didn't question how he knew that. It was just part of who he was. "I know, Beast Boy." He was silent for a long moment. "...I really didn't mean to."

He watched as Beast Boy nodded and welt his chest lose some of the weight. "I know, Rob. It's still awful."

"Beast Boy." Robin took the two steps necessary to lay a hand on his shoulder. "If I could take it back, you know I would."

Beast Boy nodded wearily. His hand reached out towards the squirrel. "I wonder if he's peaceful..."

Alarm bells went off in Robin's head, originating from years of experience in Gotham City. He knew what the newly dead looked like; he still had nightmares weekly from things he had seen at crime scenes. Everything he knew was telling him that this wasn't going to be very pretty, by any stretch of the imagination.

"Wait, Beast Boy-" he tried, reaching out to stop the outstretched hand.

But he was too late.

"Waaaugh!" Beast Boy fell back, his green eyes wide with horror. "It's... it's..."

Robin cringed, staring at the brutalized squirrel. "Oh... wow..."

"It's carnage!" Beast Boy cried. "It's ugly! It's horrible!" He finally hit Robin's legs with his back and pressed against them. "What's those pink things?"

"Um..." Robin looked down at the boy, wondering about this new physical contact. "I think they're intestines."

Robin waited as Beast Boy's brain processed this. He wasn't looking forward to the reaction it would bring.

"_Waaaauuuuggggghhhhh_!" Beast Boy screamed again, lifting his face up to the heavens with his eyes screwed shut.

Robin's heart thumped sporadically in sympathy. "Beast Boy..."

Robin's communicator went off in that moment, silencing the distraught changeling. With one hand reaching down to grab Beast Boy's shoulder, he answered the communicator with the other.

"Yo, Rob!" Cyborg's voice boomed from the tiny machine. "Where'd you and B go?"

Robin glanced down at his teammate and his heart twisted in his chest. Beast Boy was still leaning against his legs with his green eyes glued to the dead squirrel's peaceful face. His gloved fingers dug into the dirt of the alleyway and his face was as gloomy as a lost puppy.

"We, uh... we got a little sidetracked."

"Everything okay, there?"

"No. We've got a casualty," Robin added.

"Aw, man." Cyborg's voice was sympathetic. "Do you need me to call anyone?"

Robin and Beast Boy locked eyes and, unwillingly on both accounts, smiled slightly. "Nah," Robin answered. "We'll handle it."

"Alright, then we'll handle Mumbo."

Robin's interest piqued, his hero senses tingling. "You found him?"

"Star did. Look, we've got it all under control; okay?"

With the villain within his sights, Robin was itching to go out and finish the job. But with another glance at the forlorn Beast Boy, he reminded himself of his priorities. "Okay. We'll be there as soon as we can. Robin out."

He clicked off the T-Comm and tapped Beast Boy on the shoulder. When the boy looked up at him, Robin gave him a small smile. "Should we give him a funeral?" he asked, nodding towards the squirrel.

Beast Boy's eyes shone, though from tears or gratitude, Robin couldn't tell. "We're not gonna help them?"

Robin shrugged. "I think they can handle it themselves." Which was true. After a certain amount of time, a leader had to step back and let his team do what he'd trained them to do. If the three of them couldn't handle Mumbo Jumbo, there was no hope for any of them.

Beast Boy eyed. "You really want to go, don't you?"

Robin smirked. "A little."

"Dude, it's killing you," Beast Boy countered, raising both his eyebrows.

Robin winced. "Bad, bad pun," he muttered. While they were usually bad, this was a little much.

Beast Boy blinked in confusion until he realised what he'd said. "Oops..." he mumbled, his ears drooping and his face turning that odd brown colour. He fell unto his rear and curled his legs up to his chest and began to rock.

Robin let it go. "What do you want us to do?" he re-worded, genuinely curious about Beast Boy's answer. He never said what Robin expected.

Beast Boy rocked back and forth for a moment, obviously contemplating his choices. After a long minute, he questioned, "Can we just wait here? Until they're done?"

Robin blinked, then smiled. "Have a funeral with all of us?" he clarified.

The green boy nodded slowly. "Yeah... Star's probably got a poem or something, anyways..."

Robin chuckled despite himself. "Probably," he agreed, thinking fondly on his best friend. With a soft sigh, he sat down beside Beast Boy, staring at the squirrel. He consciously reminded himself to focus on the sleeping face, and not the congealed blood curled around the animal's chest.

"He was a good squirrel," Beast Boy said suddenly.

Robin glanced over from the corner of his eye and smiled sadly. Reaching out an arm, he slung it around his friend's shoulders. "He was," he agreed softly.

- - - TRAUMA - - -

* * *

A/N: First off, I would like to apologize for the wait. I know it has been two months, but nothing was coming. You know when you know exactly what you want to write, but when you go to do it, the characters look at you like, "Are you mad?"

Or, in Robin's case: "Bug off; I'm training." 'rolls eyes'

Thank you for your patience. I will hopefully be finished before its one-year anniversary: December 28, 2009. I think I can accomplish this, and hope you will all continue to be patient.

Secondly, this chapter could not be possible without The Accident of 10/20/09. On that day, Eve Royal did run over a squirrel while driving home with her little sister. The sound Beast Boy makes is the exact same one she did, and the guilt that Robin suffers through is the same that she currently is.

As my little sister said, "So you're going to write about it to get over this traumatic experience?"

And as an acquaintance of mine said, "You're writing that squirrel an extremely long epitaph?"

The answer to both: Yes.

And I do hope that nobody laughed when they discovered it was just a squirrel. Squirrels have feelings too.


	21. Utopia

A/N: **Notice!**

This is NOT Ugly! This is a brand new piece that I wrote. Please note the new chapter title: Utopia. Everything is explained in "V" and if you have any questions don't hesitate to ask.

Sorry, y'all. Enjoy this piece.

P.S. I think this might be the longest one yet. It's over 2,500 words!

Time Line: during Season IV

* * *

**Utopia**

"_Everything your heart desires."_

Another streak of light illuminated the room, followed closely by a rumble of thunder. The sound was so threateningly close the entire Tower seemed to shake in response.

Behind me, Starfire squealed in alarm and hid under my cape. Her strong fingers dug into my sides and I grunted in pain. Her fear, however, dominated her usual thoughtful nature and she didn't seem to notice my discomfort.

All right. I could handle it.

On my right had been Beast Boy. But with the sudden crash of lightning, he had yelped and morphed into a kitten, leaping into Raven's lap. He was curled into a little, shivering, green ball.

She eyed this extra weight. "I'm not going to cuddle you," she informed him dryly, her arms folded across her chest.

The kitten lifted up his head and 'mewed' piteously. She glared at him a little longer while his eyes widened and began to tear up. After a long minute of this, she sighed resignedly and patted his head, not all that gently. Beast Boy didn't seem to mind, though, since his green tail slowly swished from side-to-side on her thigh and he rested his head on his paws.

I felt bad for Beast Boy and Starfire. Beast Boy because his animal DNA forced him to act irrationally sometimes. Even though humans knew storms were nothing to fear, animals didn't and sometimes that instinct to flee from loud noises took over his human logic.

If Beast Boy had any logic to begin with.

Starfire didn't like them because of something in her past. As curious as I was, I didn't question her. I didn't want her prying into my past either.

Cyborg dropped down on my left with a heavy exhale. "It's no use. I can't do anything until the storm's over."

"The back-up generator's gone too?" I asked.

He nodded, his face down.

"Then we shall continue being trapped in the darkness for long?" Starfire asked, refusing to show herself. Her voice was a little muffled.

I glanced over my shoulder. All I could see was a large bump covered by my cape. "Seems that way, Star," I answered.

Cyborg raised his eyebrow at me, pointing subtly to the cape. I shrugged. Like I even understand _human_ girls.

Another shock of lightning streamed down, along with a crash of thunder. The green kitten howled, his back arching and his claws digging; Raven shouted from the pain of claws in her thigh and a wave of black magic blew up the DVD player; Starfire wrapped both arms around my waist and squeezed as hard as she could; and I lost the ability to breathe.

As my vision swam and I try to remember to inhale - oops! Bad idea! - I could hear Cyborg saying, "All right, B. No need to make Raven mad."

There was a pause and a rustling sound. "Don't kill the little guy," Cyborg continued. "He doesn't always think."

As I tried to intake a shuddering breath, Raven seethed, "He _never_ thinks."

It felt like my face was turning blue.

"Star, you're going to kill our boy if you don't let go."

She let me go with a horrified gasp and I breathed in air. It was one of the nicest feelings in the world - full, un-crushed lungs. I slumped against the hidden alien. "Thanks," I muttered, still heaving for breath.

"C'mon, y'all," Cyborg said. "You both know it's just Lightning and Thunder up there having a bit of a dissagreement. It's nothing to worry about."

The sound of Beast Boy morphing drew my attention. Now, as a human, he was rocking back and forth with his knees drawn up to his chest. "Doesn't matter," he mumbled. "I wish they never fought at all."

Starfire threw my cape off of her. She had replaced her arms again and was keeping my weight against her. I blushed. Sometimes I hated the romantic attention she gave me and sometimes - as she took a deep breath her breasts pushed against my back - I really liked having a _hot_ best friend.

"I wish storms did not develop at all," she said firmly, not aware she was doing anything wrong. I'm very good at masking my emotions. "They are not nice."

Raven was eyeing me - I could feel her amusement of my predicament. I shot her a glare and mouthed, 'Help me!' With an eye roll, she looked over my shoulder.

"Starfire, let him go. You're embarrassing him."

I flushed deeper again, but it had the desired effect as Starfire let me sit up. She kept her grip on my shirt though. I didn't mind. She hated storms, and I was happy to help.

Cyborg shook his head. "Is that all that would make you happy? A lack of storms?"

Beast Boy stared at the floor. "Terra would still be here," he mumbled.

A wave of awkwardness swept over us. We all tried to avoid that subject. It had only been a few months since the entire Terra incident had occurred. We all still ached from it.

"My sister would not despise me," Starfire, breaking the silence.

"My mom wouldn't have died," Cyborg added lowly.

A flash of lightning sliced down, but the thunder didn't shake our foundation this time. Beast Boy flinched and Starfire hid her face in my shoulder.

From the little I could see, it seemed Raven was scowling. "This is stupid," she announced. "There's no reason to dwell on what if's."

I nodded. "You'll drive yourself mad." I should know. There's enough villains in Arkham suffering from just that to take over the entire country. If they could all work together, that is.

Beast Boy shot me an annoyed look. "Oh, come on, dude!" he cried, uncurling himself. He pushed himself up on his knees. "You can't say you don't have any regrets!"

I could feel anger burning in my chest. "You don't get to say _anything_ about my life _or_ how I feel," I snapped. What does he know about insanity?

"If I," Starfire said loudly, obviously trying to distract us (Beast Boy was beginning to growl), "could imagine my own land, we would not need to fight evil, for evil would not exist."

Cyborg brightened. "We could have a meat-a-palooza!"

Beast Boy turned on him. "Dude! No way!"

Thunder rumbled in the distance, but Beast Boy ignored it. The storm seemed like it was dying down; the brothers were reconciling.

"You can have meat on _your_ land," Beast Boy insisted. "No meat on mine!"

Cyborg rolled his eye. "Baby," he muttered.

Starfire poked me on the shoulder. "What would be on _your_ land?"

I smirked. "Reliable electricity."

She giggled. Cyborg's human eye narrowed. "Ha, ha," he muttered.

"Raven!" Beast Boy swung around. "What would you have on your land?"

Raven had her arms folded. "This is just another stupid conversation-"

"C'mon, Rae!" he interrupted.

She glared at him. "Ear plugs," she said distinctly.

Beast Boy made a face at her. He got the hint.

"Seriously, y'all," Cyborg said. "If the five of us lived all by ourselves... what would be in our perfect world?"

There was silence as the five of us considered that. There was no such thing as perfection, and I wasn't the type to pretend. I must have frowned because Cyborg glanced pointedly at Beast Boy and Starfire.

Right. We were distracting them. But did he have to pick such a controversial subject?

With a soft sigh, I thought hard about it. If there was a perfect world... perfect for us five only... what would it have?

But how could I have my perfect world when the things that would make it really perfect couldn't be? Because if the horrible things hadn't happened then I wouldn't be sitting here with them. So which could I choose... A world perfect for me and me alone... or one perfect for them?

"No Slade," Beast Boy said suddenly.

"Amen," I muttered. It didn't matter what world I was in - he would never be a part of my perfection.

"No storms," Starfire declared.

"Snow!" Beast Boy exclaimed, jumping to his feet.

My easy agreement froze. Uh, no.

"No snow," I objected. "I got enough of that in Gotham."

His ears drooped. "But we _never_ have snow!"

"Why do you think I moved here?" I countered.

Actually, I moved because of the high crime rates and the lengthy distance from Gotham. The weather was just a nice plus.

He dropped back down on the ground and crossed his arms. "Fine," he sulked.

"No birthdays," Raven mumbled.

There was a freezing in the air for a brief moment. Thankfully, Cyborg boomed out, "Hey! I _like_ birthdays!"

I leaned over and touched Raven's knee. "How about no prophesies?"

Her eyes smiled at me. I smiled back. She didn't have to worry about Trigon. Cyborg and I had dozens of plans just waiting to be executed. There was no way Trigon was getting at Raven. We would do everything to keep her safe.

"No Brother Blood!" Cyborg cried.

"No villains!" Starfire declared, finally letting my shirt go in order to throw her arms up in the air.

"Tofu galore!" Beast Boy chimed.

"A library," Raven suggested. "A _good_ library."

"No overprotective heroes from Gotham," I muttered, crossing my arms. It would be a nice change to actually get along with Batman. He was too stubborn for his own good. I could take care of myself. I'd been doing fine so far.

"Pizza everyday!"

"Or some cooking skills," Raven corrected Beast Boy almost smugly.

"Pleasant _shorlvaks_!"

"A disco ball!"

Again, my eyes narrowed. "I told you - disco balls are tacky."

Cyborg scoffed. "Yeah, right. It looks just fine in Titans East's tower."

I gaped at him. "You put a disco ball in their tower?!"

"Well, _they_ have taste!" he shouted back, actually leaning into my face.

"No fighting, please!"

Cyborg and I turned our heads sharply to stare at Starfire. "There would be no fighting," she explained softly, giving us a significant look.

"Peace and quiet," Raven requested.

"But that's _boring_," Beast Boy whined.

"For you."

"Blissful happiness," Starfire cooed, clasping her hands together. "With no personal injuries to any."

"That sounds nice," Beast Boy sighed, a contented look on his face.

At that moment, the lights began blinking on and off and motors began to whirl to life. Starfire gasped and clutched at my shirt again and Beast Boy yelped, grabbing Cyborg's robotic arm. Within a few seconds of warming up, the Tower revived and illuminated us all in artificial lights.

"Guess the back up generator's working again," Cyborg muttered, peeling off Beast Boy.

Then the alarms sounded and the computer flashed on, showing a digital map of Jump City. Three red dots began to pulse in time with the beeping alarm, showing crimes in the downtown area, mall plaza, and the newest residential area.

The air turned tense as I got to my feet and sprinted over to the computer. While we were trapped in the Tower, others were taking advantage of the blackout. We would have to work fast to take back control of the city.

"Well," Cyborg sighed behind me. "It was fun while it lasted."

I frowned, taking in the information the computer was giving me. "We've got to split up into three groups."

"So much for perfection," Beast Boy muttered.

I zoomed in on the three different dots. "Beast Boy and Cyborg can take the mall. Raven and I'll handle Almwood Drive. Star - you've got downtown. It's probably just a bar brawl anyway."

I turned then and faced my glum team. Well, Beast Boy was glum. Starfire and Cyborg looked resigned to their tasks. Raven was blank... as usual.

"And Beast Boy," I said, waiting until I caught his attention. "Maybe this isn't a perfect world or a perfect job. But the idea of perfection itself is flawed. Everyone has their own vision of perfection - and none of them add up."

I sighed and crossed my arms. "In _my_ perfect world, my parents would still be alive; Batman would actually appreciate me. I wouldn't have to endanger my life every day. I could be normal.

"But if all that never happened, then I wouldn't be here. And I wouldn't miss being a Titan for anything."

I smiled at him. He smiled back, a little shy but very bright.

"Cool," he muttered. "Ne.. Neither would I."

I grinned at him then expanded it to include the rest of the team. "You know, if we hurry we may have time for pizza after..."

Beast Boy, Cyborg and Starfire all froze, then zoomed towards the door. Raven made a small face, then rolled her eyes.

"Almwood Drive? I'll meet you there."

As she pulled her hood up and filled her eyes with magic, I ran for the garage. I could feel my adrenaline start pumping through my veins at the chance to ride my R-Cycle. I hadn't had the opportunity for weeks.

Maybe my life wasn't perfect. That was okay. Your life was what you made it out to be. And I'd make mine worth remembering, no matter where it led me.

- - - UTOPIA - - -

* * *

A/N: I, personally, do believe in perfection; and I believe God has that whole idea in the bag. Whenever we're supposed to be perfect, whatever perfection is, I'm sure He'll handle it. However, Robin doesn't think this. So what can I do?

It's funny because, like, two years ago I wrote this story where Raven asked Robin if he would change his past if he could... And Robin came up with basically the same answer. I guess Robin isn't the type for regrets. He's got too many other things on his mind.

And there's a bit of R/S for you there. It's hard writing teenage boys!

"W" should be up soon!


	22. Violate

A/N: **NOTICE!!!**

This is "Ugly." Lelila pointed out something I already thought – thank you, Lelila – and convinced me to change the title. As soon as she said something, I thought of this.

So! This is Ugly under the new title – Violate. The new piece is "Utopia" and is back one chapter. I'm sorry for all the inconvenience. It shouldn't happen again.

So, click that back button and go read Utopia. If you're really nice, you can review that one by reviewing "Violate." FF. Net is funny that way. Or, if you get really confused and are feeling super nice, you can just P.M. me. I am friendly and usually prompt.

Sorry, guys.

Time Line: Apprentice: Part II

**

* * *

**

**Violate**

_"We are dirt."_

The human brain is a truly amazing organ. It holds millions of memories, controls billions of cells, works with both a conscious and subconscious mind, and allows an individual to feel and express dozens of different emotions. Perhaps most amazing of all is its ability to discern how much stress a body can work under before it inevitably shuts down. In drawing this conclusion, it can build barriers between the conscious mind and emotions, holding them up until the body is in an environment secure enough to sort out the experiences that has brought it to that point.

Robin's brain was doing just that. Somehow, seeing his friends being tortured at Slade's hand had been too much for his body and his brain had blocked off emotions. He had worked on instinct, guts and habit, desperation being the only thing keeping him going. It wasn't that he didn't care; it was that he _couldn't_. It would only hinder him. It would only hurt his friends.

So he had done reckless things, things that perhaps he wouldn't have done had his entire being had a say in things. He had stolen from his father, sacrificed his life, beaten Slade, and made a terrifying escape. All for his friends. All for himself.

It was only now, safe and secure in Cyborg's car, driving through the darkness of Jump City that the barriers his brain had erected began to crumble. It started slowly at first, allowing him to realize how sore his body really was. That was not the best way to start off with, as no one is as strong as they could be when they are in pain. With bruises forming, cuts mending, bones throbbing, and muscles screaming, his brain could not deal with the past couple days as well as it might have otherwise.

The walls came down fast and furious, accompanied by memories and fierce emotions - hatred, anger, terror, exposure. He recalled every word, every punch, every kick, and every sideways glance that Slade had sent him... And it began to eat him alive.

Up until this point he had almost felt normal in the T-Car, watching Cyborg and Raven's heads from his seat in the back. The arm Starfire had wrapped around his shoulders had been comfortable, if slightly humiliating, and Beast Boy's glances (one approximately every thirteen seconds) had been slightly annoying, if not relieving. Here, with his friends surrounding him, he was safe. Slade was gone.

But now, with memories clouding his judgement and waves of pain making his knees tremble and his stomach heave, he could feel none of the warmth that usually lingered inside the car. Now all he could feel was tension radiating off of everyone, and the crispness of uncertainty. The air was suddenly heavy inside his lungs and the uncharacteristic silence was overwhelming. It reminded him of Slade's lair; reminded him of the atmosphere that seemed to sweep in when Slade stepped into view.

Suddenly, that was all he could see: Slade. The way he had ran at him, the way he had moved his arm to hurt him, and the orders he had given him. The way he had forced Robin to betray his friends.

Everything was too close. Too close for comfort. There was no such thing as comfort.

The arm around his shoulders tightened for a brief moment as the car went over a small bump, and suddenly it was _him_ looming over him and choking him and _whispering in his ear-_

A hand softly touched his leg-

(he beat him, he whipped him, he nearly broke his leg, he just kept going and going and going-)

-and a voice called, as if from a far distance: "Robin? Dude, are you okay?"

And everything was too tight: his lungs, his heart, his clothes, his skin; everything kept coming closer and closer to his face and pressing, pressing, pressing...

(there was pain and cries and an order to "Get up. We're not finished yet;" and cold water and a hard bed and sweat all around)

...pushing down on him. He couldn't breathe, couldn't move; needed to get out - how to get out? Everything was going too fast and too close, and he needed to get away, far away-

"Robin? Please, what is it?"

Let him go (let go of his arm, it hurt, hurt, _hurt_), he wanted to go, stop pulling him, pulling him, pulling him...

(these were his _friends_!)

Leave him alone, go away, far away; he was dirty and gross, and sweaty and covered in blood, and _just like him_-

"We're here."

And the doors opened and the air swept in and the arm slid off and the bodies moved away and he could breathe!

But as soon as he stepped out into the light, he saw the orange and black instead of red and green and felt the darkness that permeated the clothes surround him like a cloud. It fanned out, spreading throughout the Tower's garage, originating from _him_.

He was poisoning his own home.

Another hand touched his shoulder - a cold, pale hand - and he actually started, taking a hurried step back. Instantly, humiliation filled his core. He had ran away from his friends.

But when he looked into their eyes, none of them were upset. Instead, they were staring at him with pity-filled eyes. Pity was worse than anger. He could stop their anger, but didn't know how to erase pity.

"Come on," Raven whispered, drawing her hand back to her side. "You could use a shower."

Normally, he would be insulted by this statement, but he agreed with her this time. He could use a shower, he should wash all the grime away, he needed to get out of these clothes, he was dirty, dirty, dirty-

His thoughts were swirling again, threatening to take him down into chaos and pain. Wanting to avoid all that, he gave a short nod to indicate that he had heard and understood and forced his legs to take a step. With that small success, he took another. And another. And another.

They didn't touch him. They followed him instead, giving him a wide berth. They left him to walk alone.

Every step tainted the Tower. He chose the stairs over the elevator because he knew he couldn't handle the closeness. However, the stairs weren't much better, for his body ached and screamed silently for a break, a rest - Please! He couldn't do any more, he hurt, he ached, he wasn't a thief - don't kill his friends-

_Stop!_

He actually stopped in his tracks the order was that strong. He could hear the others halt behind him until the only thing to hear was their hard breathing. He took another deep breath and forced himself to keep going.

They followed him down the hall, watching as he avoided the Common Room - though whether it was a conscious decision none of them knew - and painstakingly crawled down another hallway. Halfway there, he began to limp, but no one said anything. No one dared to touch him.

He didn't know how he made it all the way to the bathroom, or how many times he had to order himself not to think about Slade hitting him over and over and over and over-

And then the bathroom door slid closed behind him.

He was alone in a dark room without a single sound breaking the silence. He held his breath for another instant before slowly letting it out. The light switch hovered over his left shoulder, but Robin couldn't bring himself to move. Instead, he pressed back against his door, staring blankly into the blackness before him. Slowly, taking more time than usual because of his fatigue, his eyes adjusted to the lack of light and he surveyed the bathroom.

It was empty. That wasn't very comforting. There was no place for him to hide.

But Slade wasn't there. That was one bright spot.

He wouldn't hide away. He was safe and sound, and Slade was who-knew-where. There was nothing in the bathroom that could harm him. Nothing at all. He took a couple steps into the bathroom to prove to himself that he was not afraid. Nothing jumped out of a corner, or taunted him from the ceiling.

So he reached out behind him and flicked on the light.

Utter terror choked the scream that built inside his chest, stealing his breath and crushing his heart. He plastered himself against the wall behind him, wishing that the door was there instead. At least that way he'd have an escape route.

But because he couldn't move, and there was no way out, he stared at the being across from him, his heart race refusing to slow. And as realization built up in his chest, he began to shake. Maybe it was from hysterical laughter. Maybe it was from torturous sobs. It didn't really matter either way. It didn't change the end result.

Slade was there. He was everywhere. He had tattooed himself unto Robin's skin and branded himself into Robin's brain. No matter where he went, Slade would be perched on his shoulder watching everything he did.

The reflection in the mirror told him so.

- - - VIOLATE - - -


	23. Wanting

A/N: The one you've all been waiting for... This is my take on the Robin half of Rob/Star. Although most of you seem to be R/S shippers, if you're not, then please - it is canon. I am sorry, but it's in the comics and the show. If you don't like it, take it up with the writers. Not me.

I think I re-wrote this about ten times. No joke. And even when I found that this style worked, Robin shut up halfway through - again, that may have something to do with half of this being typed up and then being erased... You can all thank Light's song "Savior" for reminding me to write this. That song is where the quote comes from too, just so you know.

"X" should be up by the end of the week. I hope.

Time Line: "Date With Destiny"

* * *

**Wanting**

_"It won't ever change if you want it to stay the same."_

"Do all Earthen royalty wear such... extravagant head wear?"

I glance over at her and smile at the way the plastic crown sits on the top of her head. Hers is tall and skinny with fake gemstones glued to the sides, reflecting the light around us. It's amazing hers doesn't fall off her head, especially since mine is short and wide and way too big for my head, resulting in it falling off and hanging off an ear or cutting off my vision.

What really gets me is the giant ruby in the front and centre. It's so gaudy and fake it makes me cringe.

"These crowns are pretty cheap, actually." An understatement to say the least. To prove my point, I lean over and poke her crown with my index finger. Like I knew it would, it falls over with ease and she reaches up hastily to fix it. However, my actions backfire as my crown loses its precarious balance and slips off over my forehead. I glare when it covers my eyes and shove it back on my head. Slowly, it begins to slip down my neck.

"C'mon," I continue, trying to fix my crown. A quick glance in her direction shows me that she's doing the same. "You can't tell me Tamaranian royalty don't wear crowns too."

Having finally replaced my crown properly on my head, I turn to look at her. Her eyes are unfocused and her hands freeze in her hair. My eyebrows raise, stretching the material of my mask. Now _that's_ a different reaction.

"They do," she murmurs after a long moment, "but they do not rest on the top of the head. They frame the face."

I frown and lean back, moving slowly so my crown doesn't fall again. I study her face and imagine a metallic frame - silver, if her neck brace and arm guards are anything to go by - covering her forehead and framing her face. I hum; I'm not sure I like it.

"What?" she asks, touching her face. She's so self-conscious that it would be funny if it wasn't so out of place on her.

"I don't know if I can see you in one," I admit, laughing a little.

She looks down, avoiding my eyes. "Why would you ever imagine me as royalty?" she asks, her voice pitched higher than normal.

My eyes narrow. She's nervous about something - something she's never going to tell me. "Not sure," I answer, keeping my voice casual. "Sometimes you just... act like a princess."

Her eyes snap up to mine. They're filled with green, liquid fear. "I do?" she whispers.

I nod, rather hesitantly. "It's a compliment, Star."

She blinks a couple of times, as if coming out of a daze, then blushes a light orange. "Then... I thank you," she mumbles, looking away again.

Starfire's been acting weird all day - and I can understand why she'd be freaking out about Kitten. I wasn't exactly staying cool over the whole situation either. Still... I don't understand why she's acting so nervous about something as simple as this. Especially since everything is okay now. Kitten was gone, the prom went on, the other Titans were safe at home, and we were practically royalty. You'd think that would make her happy.

But instead, she was watching the last few students dance awkwardly around the ship's deck, still avoiding me. As King and Queen of Junior Prom it's our responsibility to stick around until everybody else has gone home. I wouldn't mind except we've also been elected as chaperons and guards against alcohol. Like we don't have better things to do.

The other Titans, on the other hand, were free to go whenever. They hung out for about half-an-hour, but after Cyborg danced with all the wallflowers, Raven had insulted every 'prom-like' thing here, and Beast Boy had ranted about some girl's fur jacket, they'd left. Not that I can blame them. If I could leave, I would too.

Instead, we were perching on the ship's railing, watching the stragglers. Starfire's hoping for another dance with me - I'm not stupid. I can see the hope in her eyes. But I don't like to dance, even under the best conditions. And dancing in our uniforms isn't very classy. But I can't stand being out of uniform any more. Robin just isn't Robin without the costume. And Starfire...

I look over at her, taking in her... self, I guess. I'll never admit it aloud, but she's the hottest girl I know. Even the word 'hot' doesn't do her justice. She's beautiful - and that's not a word I use very often. But I'll use it now. Her in that dress earlier tonight... it almost made us seem, well, normal.

And then she opened her mouth.

I know that sounds mean, but Starfire's never going to be human. And that's a large part of her charm. I wouldn't change her for all the world; she's a Tamaranian and that's what makes her beautiful.

Still... For that brief second when she just looked up at me and I looked at her... I felt normal. Like if she was just a girl and I was just a guy and there was nothing holding us back.

I'm not going to lie - especially not to myself. I know that if we were normal I'd have asked her out ages ago. And I know that she would've said yes. I'm not stupid. I can see what she feels.

But the thing is: everything is holding us back. Starfire is my best friend because we can never be anything more than that.

"What are you looking at?" I ask, hoping to stop the silent treatment.

"They are not very good... are they?" she asks, glancing sidelong at me. Her lips curl up in a wicked smile.

I feel my lips smirk up in response. I'll never tell her this, but I like the mischievous, naughty side of her that she hides beneath a thick layer of sweetness and innocence. And maybe she won't find this very complimentary, but it reminds me of Blackfire, who's less beautiful, but more dangerous. There's this kind of amazing sexiness to dangerous women.

Star's got that quality too, but it only comes out on rare occasion, and only with me. Knowing that I'm that special to her doesn't help me deal at all.

"Nah," I reply easily. "Most people aren't."

"You are," she says, bumping my knee with hers. And now we were definitely flirting. We ended up at this point a lot, actually.

I shouldn't be encouraging her, but really... If a hot girl started flirting with you, would _you_ stop it?

...I didn't think so.

I shrug casually. I tend to act cool when I'm around her, because I'm a showoff at heart. "Only because Batman made me," I admit. "I still hate it."

"Why?" She seems genuinely curious, which she usually is. "It seems very beautiful to me."

I scan the floor, trying to find an example to help me word what I'm feeling. "Uh... I think it's the closeness."

"The closeness?"

"Yeah." There's this geeky boy with huge glasses trying to flirt with one of the wallflowers. By the way she's smiling, I guess they know each other. Outcasts tend to group themselves with themselves so they aren't outcasts any more. "When you dance, you have to focus completely on your partner. You have to know what they're doing so you can react accordingly. If you don't, someone trips and gets hurt."

True story.

"And... this complete focus hinders you from accomplishing your duty as a hero?" she guesses.

I blink. "Well, yeah, but that's not really what I meant," I admit. "When you focus that hard on someone, you... develop a certain intimacy with that person. At least, if you're doing it properly," I add. I'm quiet for a long moment, letting the wallflower's laughter ring in my ears. It's pretty... And makes her look prettier too.

"I don't like being that close to someone," I admit, quietly.

She falls silent, and I chance a glance in her direction. Her face is heavy and I know I've disappointed her somehow. I know that she wants everyone to be close to everyone; that she's afraid of the _Blorthog_ destroying what we have. But I'm not like her. I like being alone.

Another reason why we wouldn't work.

"Why does that make you afraid?" she wonders aloud.

I tense. I'm not going to go into all of this with her. "That's none of your business," I say, unwillingly sharp. I can feel my crown slipping off.

She looks over at me, and raises an eyebrow. It's expressions like these that make me wonder if she really is a princess, or just a slave. "Oh really?" she asks.

"Yes," I snap, then wince. I don't want to get mad at her. I take a deep breath. "I'm sorry," I apologise. "But I don't want to explain myself to you." From the corner of my eye, I see my crown fall to the ground. I feel my chest tighten. I can't even balance a cheap, plastic crown, let alone a relationship.

"Not yet, I assume you mean."

I frown at her. "Maybe not ever," I clarify, knowing this will hurt her. But she has to get this. I'm no good for her. I guess you could call me damaged goods.

There's something akin to acceptance in her eyes. "Perhaps. But I think not," she whispers. She holds my eyes for a long minute and then breaks our gaze, looking over the dancers.

Guilt is filling in my chest. I know I snapped when I shouldn't have, and I know I act without thinking sometimes - a lot of times, actually, when it comes to her. But that seems to be how our relationship works. Two steps forward, then two steps back. Her always pushing for us to go forward, and me always struggling so hard we end up going backwards. In the end, it's just a tangled mess that leaves us both heaving for breath and hoarse from yelling.

"Then why did you dance with me?" she asks finally, refusing to look at me.

I contain my sigh. I knew this was coming up. "Because I'm already close to you," I admit. I don't know why I'm admitting it though. It's only going to screw us up even more.

"Then what is the problem?" she cries, spinning to stare at me. Her expression is desperate, for understanding most likely. I watch, almost captivated by the way her crown falls off and lands on the ground. I glance down and see it spin around for a brief second before falling over on its side, right next to mine.

I can't help but feel that it's some sort of sign. That we're both falling from grace, or losing our nobility or, in an ugly, twisted way, we're always together.

I force my eyes back up to her and hate myself for the confusion and grief in her face. I shrug, almost helplessly. "Everything?" I say, it sounding more like a question.

She stares for a minute longer, then relaxes, turning away again. From her slumped shoulders, I assume she didn't find what she was looking for. She never does; and I can't give her what I don't have. Right now, I don't have the courage or the means to give her what she wants.

What does she want? Essentially: me.

What do I want? ...Her. But safely. When neither of us is too damaged for the other. When I'm not as afraid.

At that moment, a teacher walks up, either too oblivious to the tension between us, or too accustomed to teenage drama that it doesn't bother her any more. She looks between the two of us and says, "We were thinking about ending it for the night."

_Thank _you.

"We were wondering," she continues, "if you two would lead the last dance of the night before we send everyone home."

I manage to hold in my scoff. I glance over at Starfire, who is still refusing to look at me. "That's fine with me," I say, "if Star doesn't mind."

She looks at me, and the expression in her face is a mixture of exasperation, disbelief, and 'are you trying to torture me'. I'm torn between shrugging and laughing at myself, but keep my face neutral instead. Yes, Star. I live to torture you, because I love to torture myself. Don't you see how messed up we are?

"I do not see that being a problem," she says, rather graciously, I might add.

The teacher smiles. "Wonderful," she answers, with a slight nod. She walks away, probably to go change the music or something.

We're stuck in an awkward moment for about a complete minute before the music changes and the announcement of this being the last dance comes on. I look over at her and hold out my hand. "Well?" I say, half-hoping she's changed her mind.

She looks steadily at my hand, but doesn't take it, instead walking off into the centre of the ship's deck. I follow, aware of the eyes on me. Whether it's because I'm Robin the Boy Wonder, or that my 'date' is stalking away from me, I'm not really sure.

I catch up to her and grab her arm. "Star," I call, hoping that she'll give me the chance to say something. I'm not sure what I'm going to say, though. It's all already out there.

She turns and looks at me, her eyes darting around my face and scanning my masked eyes. I don't know how she always manages to see through it, but she does. It wouldn't surprise me if she had x-ray vision or something. She probably already knows what colour my eyes are.

Slowly, very slowly, her lips curl up and her eyes soften. Her shoulders relax and her face seems to lighten. Maybe she's come to some sort of epiphany; I don't know. Either way, it doesn't matter as whatever she's decided makes her lift up her hand and put it in mine and twist so we face each other properly.

I smile back at her. This relationship of ours is a lot of give and take; and I don't know who just gave and who just took. Maybe it was a bit of both. I move to place my hand on her hip and she puts her free hand on my shoulder. And I look up at her.

Someday, one of us is going to give up completely. And whoever is it will also change our ending - for better or worse. I think that's something we both know, deep down inside our stubborn selves.

But I also think that we both know that that day isn't today. And it probably won't be for quite some time. So, instead of saying anything, I just shift my feet and, as this relationship of ours defines, take the lead.

- - - WANTING - - -


	24. Xenophobia

A/N: I'm so sorry for how long this took me. But, I have a free week next week (no exams for me!), so I hope to work on "Y" and "Z." Hopefully RB will be done before the _Percy Jackson_ movie comes out...

In case anyone noticed, I fixed up "Angel." It's different, but not so different that you can't recognise it. I also want to fix up "Dreams" but it's low on my To-Do List. So, y'all can run back and check out Red Breast's new beginning.

Um... I'm not too sure if I like this one. If anyone's got any suggestions... 'smiles hopefully'

In case anyone's wondering what Xenophobia means, it's the fear of strangers. So check out that time line.

Time Line: pre-Season I. Just after "Go!" actually...

* * *

**Xenophobia**

_"Alone better suits me."_

Robin doesn't regret many things in his life. In his mix of optimism, realism, pessimism and teenage hormone-driven drama, he's come to realise that you can't change the past - only your future. And if you keep struggling to move pieces that are already set in stone, you're not paying any attention to the pieces you can control. He likes to move forward and tries to avoid the roses along the way. He's been pricked by too many thorns.

However, his patience is thinning - not that it was very thick to begin with - and in that selfish, annoyed way teenagers get when things aren't going the way they think they should be, he is beginning to have regrets. Namely, about helping out that group of freaky teens and aliens.

It's giving him more grief than pleasure, which is why he's regretting it. He came to Jump City for a reason; and it wasn't to make friends.

He wouldn't even call these people his friends. They're a mixture between acquaintances, annoyances, helpers, and charity cases; so blended together that he can't quite define the taste. Instead, he plugs his nose and tries to swallow without tasting it.

He's never really liked change, and he's not about to do so for this weird grouping of near-strangers.

He feels likes an exotic specimen at the zoo, with people poking their fingers through the bars, teenagers cursing at him, babies crying, kids laughing, and a dull monotone somewhere off to the side trying to lecture the audience on what, exactly, this creature is. But no one is listening and the explanation gets drowned out and Robin is suffocating from all the attention.

Perhaps he is, in a way, a celebrity. He understands that he is the world's first sidekick (and he's torn between screaming that he is much more than that and laughing at the incredible irony that stiff-butt _Batman _was the first hero to have one) and that everyone wants to know why, exactly, he is no longer with the Batman. He can understand why that green boy keeps calling him 'sir' but doesn't get why that boy can't get it through his head that Robin hates that title. He understands he's the first person to ever be nice to that alien girl and that she wants to thank him, but doesn't understand why _he_ has to be the one she constantly follows. He understands that he's the one who gave the dark girl a shot, but doesn't understand why she only wants to talk to him. And he understands that the hybrid only wants someone to talk to about protecting the city, but doesn't understand why the other three wouldn't work just as well.

To be blunt: he just doesn't get them. And honestly, he doesn't want to. He has better things to do than talk to them. He has a job to do. Being a hero isn't all fun and games; there's a little bit of pain and broken bones thrown in there too.

And maybe, just maybe, there's a little bit of fear in him. There are moments when he sees a flash of innocence in the green kid's eyes; a flash that reminds him of how he used to be. Moments where he envies Cyborg's ability to throw cars across the street to stop the bad guy or the way he can manipulate his robotic arm into practically anything. Moments where he wants to laugh at Raven's dry, sarcastic quips. Moments where he wonders what it would be like if he got another kiss from that super hot alien. And when he contemplates these thoughts, he realises that these four have the ability to change his life. To alter his purpose; to distract him.

He can't let them distract him. He has to prove himself to Batman, to the _world_; and he wishes they'd just figure that all out and leave him alone.

But he made a promise. He said, "You know who to call." He, in a way, invited all this unnecessary attention from them, and it goes against his morals to break promises (unless it's for a very good reason - like life and death). So, because of a few stupid, rashly spoken words, he's stuck with them.

But even though he might have to help them out when criminals try to steal from the bank or museum, or even let Beast Boy spend the night when it's pouring rain outside, that doesn't mean he has to hang out with them socially. They can all have their own separate lives.

But that stupid gang of teenagers calling themselves the "Red Fist" just threw him into the street where a car almost ran him over, and he aches from the lack of sleep; and suddenly the pizza that Cyborg keeps suggesting sounds really, really good. The fact that he hasn't eaten in a couple of days isn't exactly helping his iron-will either. Besides, he's got four large, green eyes pleading with him; so what can he do but accept?

Everyone's eyes are on them, and the owner of the pizza plaza offers them the table on the roof with the best view and a dinner on the house. Apparently they've saved his business a couple times a week and this is common treatment for the others. He sits, awkwardly, because he's not used to sitting with people his own age. His best friend - Batgirl - often treated him like a kid brother. It's weird being thought of as someone high and mighty, but not so high that they can't touch him and pull him down just far enough to hang out with.

He wonders if they think he could be a friend. He hasn't had a lot of those.

When the pizzas come - three Supremes and a Veggie Classic - he stares at them as if the tomato-sauce-covered-dough can answer all of his doubts and questions. Beast Boy and Cyborg chat up Starfire as if nothing is out of the ordinary, and Raven watches and waits for an opportunity to mock them all. He's as stiff as a board from an over-active case of nerves. He doesn't know what he's supposed to do, say, or act.

Then Starfire asks him a question, and before he can even think about it, he's explaining why soft drinks are called soft drinks. Then Beast Boy is asking him what his favourite drink is and when he says Dr. Pepper, Cyborg mentions that he's never tried that, and Raven calls him uncivilized before adding that this is a stupid piece of conversation. Beast Boy says something about gothic poetry not being cool enough for them, and then Raven is threatening to give him a wedgie the size of Jupiter.

It all seems very normal, and he faintly recognises that they're doing this so they don't scare him away, and he wonders if they did this with Raven and Starfire the first few times too. Because he has nothing to add to this conversation, he merely eats his pizza, chomping down five pieces before any of them even look in his direction again.

He excuses himself, saying something about needing to write up a report for the police chief. None of them try to stop him, but when he's half-way to the door, he hears Starfire ask if he will accompany them here tomorrow.

He fights back the small wave of panic that shoots through his body, a result of having very little companionship over the years. Instead, he listens to that small voice in the back of his mind that tells him to turn around. He does so, and they seem so... _together_ that he suddenly wants to be part of that too. He's beginning to see that he isn't like Batman. He doesn't want to be alone for the rest of his life.

So he says yes. And then he runs back to his small, beat-up apartment; because even if he took the first step today, they can't expect him to be perfect tomorrow. They still terrify him with the potential of what they could all be together. Not five heroes, but one team.

But he wants to take that leap of faith. He likes the sound of having his very own team; a brand new persona far away from Gotham's shadow, and a lonely circus tent. It's about time to try something new.

He may not like the process of changing, but he thinks he'll like the end results.

- - - XENOPHOBIA - - -


	25. Yearly

A/N: I have no words, except that I did go see Percy Jackson. Anyone who wants to talk about it is welcomed. I have some things to talk about. But! "Z" should be up in a couple of days - and I mean it this time because I have it almost all written. Huzzah!

Thank you to Star of Airdrie - you're my 200th reviewer! I am feeling the love you guys! I never thought I'd get so much for this.

(And no, Lelila, I haven't forgotten to edit Wanting.)

Oh, and before anyone asks, yes, there's a reason why this is limited third person (as in no Robin-thoughts) instead of my normal third person with lots of Robin thoughts.

Time Line: "Birthmark"

* * *

**Yearly**

_"It's a party."_

He pulled away with a sharp gasp, and panted heavily, bowing his head from exhaustion. His fingers gripped the rubber almost painfully in their desperate attempt to keep from releasing their hold. Slowly, colour filled his cheeks again and he could raise his head to look around him.

Beside him, Beast Boy blew saliva all over the sides of the deflated balloon. Robin's nose wrinkled at his friend's lack of skill.

"Uh... Maybe I should blow up the balloons," Robin suggested gently.

Beast Boy's shoulders slumped forward and his head hung low. His small chest heaved for breath. "Aww..." he stopped for breath, "man!"

Robin clutched his newly-inflated balloon with one hand so he could pat Beast Boy on the back with the other. "Deep breaths, Beast Boy. Give yourself a minute."

Slowly, Beast Boy gained his breath again. "But, _dude_!" he whined. "I wanted to do something!"

From the kitchen, Cyborg called, "I think you've done enough, B."

"Indeed," Starfire's high voice called over. "Without you, we should never have known what a gloriously special day today is!"

With a slight scoff, Robin tied the balloon up and gave it a light toss over to the television. "I still say this is a bad idea," he announced, glancing over at Cyborg.

Cyborg pointed a chocolate-covered wooden spoon at him. "Keep blowing, bird boy. We heard you the first time."

Robin sent a glare in the hybrid's direction before grabbing another deflated balloon.

Beast Boy, however, was not as easily subdued. "Dude! What am I supposed to do?"

Robin paused between breaths. "Maybe... you can... pick out the... music."

Beast Boy slumped down into the couch and folded his arms across his chest. "Man, there's no point in choosing music! Raven hates all kinds of music! Especially mine," he grumbled under his breath.

Robin neatly finished tying his balloon and threw it at Beast Boy's head. It bounced off with a light 'thwap' and floated over towards the kitchen. Beast Boy's ears pinned themselves to the sides of his head and he glared at Robin. Their leader shrugged and casually began blowing up another balloon.

"Please do not be upset, dear friend," Starfire called. She popped her head out from around the corner, meat dripping from her hands. "It is enough that you informed us of this wonderful day! We all thank you for it."

"I still don't know how you managed to hack into the Titans mainframe..." Cyborg muttered.

Beast Boy's keen ears picked up on the cynical tone. "Dude! Are you implying that I'm not smart?"

Cyborg shrugged and looked back at his cake mix. "I think this needs more sugar," he mumbled.

"Dude!"

Robin shook his head, tying off another balloon. "You still shouldn't have been in there, Beast Boy. There's a reason that information can't be accessed normally."

"Why? Are you afraid some deep, dark secret will expose your secret identity?" Beast Boy responded snootily.

Robin's eyes narrowed. "I'm just saying that some people like their privacy."

"Oh, c'mon!" Beast Boy exclaimed. "You know what your privacy made you lose out on? Presents! I can't believe you didn't tell us when _your_ birthday was!"

Robin froze, straightening like a stick, his eyes glued on Beast Boy's face. Behind them, they heard a gasp and suddenly Starfire was floating beside Beast Boy, her face inches from his own.

"You know when Robin's birthday is?" she asked reverently. Robin felt his body warm and thaw from its icy panic and he snapped back into leader mode with a sharp glare at Beast Boy.

Beast Boy smirked. "Uh, yeah! I sure do."

"Don't you _dare_ tell them," Robin snapped, his voice low and deadly.

Beast Boy actually faltered for a moment. "Uh..." Then he seemed to shake himself out of it. "We missed it _months_ ago! Man..." A thoughtful look crossed his green face. "Terra was here," he mumbled.

The room fell into a tense silence, until Cyborg broke it. "Wait... That was way back in, like, March sometime."

Beast Boy's face cleared up. "Yeah! Exactly! You'll never guess the date!"

"Beast Boy," Robin growled. "Shut. Up."

"It's the 20th!"

Cyborg froze, his spoon dripping cake mix all over the kitchen counter. "March 20th? Isn't that the first day of spring?"

"Yup!" Beast Boy's grin turned dark, a direct comparison to the red Robin beside him. "Our Robin is a robin!"

Starfire's face scrunched up in confusion. "I do not believe I understand..." she mumbled.

Beast Boy laughed. "You know, Star; a robin!" He morphed into a green-shaded robin and trilled out a quick song.

From behind the kitchen counter, Cyborg explained, "A robin is a bird that comes out in the spring; it's considered a sign that spring's here. Someone who's born on the first day of spring is sometimes called a robin."

"Oh..." Understanding dawned in her eyes and she turned towards Robin. "Is that the meaning behind your name?"

Robin shrugged uncomfortably, his colour finally returning to normal, and grabbed another balloon to inflate.

"And that's not even the best part!" Beast Boy crowed, having transformed back into a human. "Guess who else has that birthday?"

Robin tied his balloon with a little too much force. "That's it," he said, his hand reaching for his belt.

"It's Di-" Beast Boy's mouth was suddenly glued shut by a wad of red gunk. When he tried to open his mouth again, the gum-like substance snapped it shut again. He whimpered softly, his ears drooping.

Robin smirked beside him and reached for another balloon.

"Wait a minute," Cyborg said slowly. "I know who y'all are talking about."

Robin's head snapped around. "No," he bit out. "You don't-"

"You mean Dick Grayson!"

Beast Boy threw his hands up in the air and tried to mumble something through the gunk. Robin sighed angrily, the sound a near growl, and tossed a freezing disc at Beast Boy's mouth. When the lower half of his green face froze from the sudden onslaught of ice, Robin half-heartedly slugged him in the jaw. The ice shattered, freeing Beast Boy's face.

He rubbed his hands over his jaw. "Dude! That was cold!"

Robin shrugged. "Oops."

Starfire's eyes were shining and she clasped her hands together. "Please, you _know _the handsome Dick Grayson?"

Robin's face turned pink and he shuffled uncomfortably. "Uh... I guess so. Rescued him a few times back in Gotham." He started twisting the last deflated balloon between his fingers.

"He was captured often?" Starfire queried.

"Rich guys usually are."

"I heard that the guy was a jerk," Cyborg grumbled, bringing his attention back to his cake mix now that Robin was thoroughly embarrassed.

Robin bit his bottom lip and blew up the last balloon. He tied it neatly as his chest heaved quickly to make up for the air he'd used. "I didn't think so," he answered finally, tossing the balloon over his shoulder. He stood up and brushed off his pants. "Bruce Wayne was a bit of an ass, though."

"Mr. Wayne was a donkey?"

"Among other things." Robin crossed his arms and surveyed the room. "We need a banner."

"Wow..." Beast Boy whispered. "Your birthdays must've _sucked_."

Robin turned to raise an eyebrow at him. "Why would you say that?"

"No one would've come!" Beast Boy cried, standing on the couch. "Why would they come to _your_ party when they could go to _Dick Grayson's_?"

Robin stared at him, his lips twitching ever-so slightly. "I'm not much for parties even on a good day, Beast Boy."

The green boy waved his leader's words away. "Yeah, yeah, you and Raven are super boring; we know." He ignored the narrowing of Robin's mask. "But think about all the presents you missed out on!"

Robin rolled his eyes, hidden from his teammates' view. "Oh yeah, cheques and family heirlooms; _great_ presents," he muttered, walking off.

Cyborg looked up from pouring his batter into a pan and eyed Robin. "How do you know what kind of presents he got?"

"I was invited one year." Robin grabbed the pile of rainbow paper plates and began to set the long table Cyborg had dragged out from the basement. "It wasn't a lot of fun."

"Oh, come on," Beast Boy groaned. "His dad must've gotten him _some_ good presents."

Robin smirked to himself. "Bruce's weren't bad," he admitted, his smirk growing. "Batman's were better."

Beast Boy shook his head. "Man... I'd _kill _to be Dick Grayson. _He'd_ have gotten a moped," he said, shooting a dirty look Robin's way.

Robin adjusted the chip bowl. "Dick Grayson got a _motorcycle_."

Beast Boy moaned and fell back into the couch, his head landing on the soft cushions. "Dude... No fair..."

"But Dick Grayson also watched his parents die feet away from him and got adopted by a playboy and an old man. Anybody who talked to him was either in it for the money, or hated him because they thought he was a snob." Robin stopped and rested his hands on the table. "He seemed pretty lonely," he mumbled.

"How horrid..." Starfire murmured.

Robin shrugged, back to normal. "It wasn't great," he admitted with a frown. He turned around. "Beast Boy!" he barked.

Beast Boy snapped up into a sitting position and saluted. "Sir, yes, sir, sir!"

Robin made a face but didn't comment. "You still want a job?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Uh, _yeah_," Beast Boy answered, his face splitting into a massive grin.

"Make Raven a banner. A really big one." He turned to Cyborg. "How's that cake coming?"

"Just putting it in the oven now. It's gotta cook for about half-an-hour before cooling-"

"Great. Star?" Robin asked, cutting the hybrid off mid-sentence. Cyborg aimed a glare at the back of his leader's head. "Weren't you making that, uh..." he trailed off, his face scrunching as he searched for the word.

"Oh!" Starfire gasped, her hands flying up to her cheeks. "The _throknar_!" She zoomed off towards the kitchen, the wind caused by her speed making Robin's cape billow around his ankles.

Beast Boy jogged by him, his arms filled with markers and painting supplies. Robin ignored him and eyed the ceiling.

"How to get you up there?" he muttered, kicking a nearby balloon aside.

"Don't forget the confetti!" Beast Boy screeched from behind Robin.

"Confetti?" Robin repeated, twisting his head around. "Raven _hates_ confetti."

"Aww, she'll learn to love it."

Robin rolled his eyes. "Poor Raven," he mumbled, bringing his head back to the several lost balloons. "I still say this is a bad idea," he said louder.

"Shut up, Rob."

Robin snorted. "They thought Dick would like his parties too," he reminded them. He chuckled again. "Poor Raven."

- - - YEARLY - - -


	26. Zinothium

A/N: While Zinothium might not be the best title, it's the best one I could come up with. If y'all can think of a better one, please let me know.

As my little sister said, "He's not a happy little Boy Wonder."

This is it everyone. This is the last chapter. As of this day, Red Breast is finished. But I am not! Be on the lookout for new stuff. I've got a requested oneshot coming out (eventually) and after all, a brand new project. Be prepared for multiple chapters.

Thank you so much for reading. You guys are awesome. It gives me hope for the TT fandom.

Time Line: post Season V; pre-Tokyo

* * *

**Zinothium**

"_I've got friends in low places."_

The darkness closed in around us and shadows suddenly became malicious as they disguised potential danger. The alarms that had been blaring in our ears just a couple minutes ago had finally shut off, enveloping us in tense silence that was broken only by the constant soft beeping that sounded in time with a flash of red light. A continuous transmission to the police and Teen Titans' mainframe, I guessed. The cool bars of our enclosure dug into the flesh of my back, making me even more uncomfortable than I already was.

I released an angry snort of air. Well, I _had _told the museum to get a better security system. I just never thought that I'd be caught by it.

A chuckle sounded across from me and I looked up to narrow my eyes at a smug Red X. He sprawled against the bars of the metal cage, his legs taking up most of the room. As a result, my legs were brought up to my chest and they protected my folded arms. This 4'x4' cage wasn't big enough for the two of us.

And it certainly wasn't helping my already-bad mood.

"What are you so happy about?" I snapped. "This is all your fault. We're both stuck here until the police come and get us out." I shifted slightly, trying to find some semblance of comfort. "Well, you'll get sent off to jail," I added, taking some pleasure in that thought.

He shrugged. "Maybe," he said in the computer generated voice that I designed over a year ago. "I just find this a little funny."

"Funny?" I repeated, raising an eyebrow.

"You and me always seem to get stuck together, don't we?" He angled his head a little. "Just wondering how you're gonna save me from this one and how I'm gonna repay you."

I frowned and glanced away, watching a cockroach scuttle across the floor. It was an uncomfortable truth.

"Besides," he continued, "I wouldn't have tripped the alarm if you hadn't pushed me."

I levelled my gaze at his casual pose. "I was trying to stop a crime. That's part of my-"

"Job, I know." He paused for a moment and when he spoke again I could swear he was smirking. "So you've said."

Before I could comment, he continued, "And I wouldn't be too sure they'll get me into jail, kid." Now he was definitely smirking.

I shifted again and let my legs relax a little. "How are you gonna get out this time, X? Your magic belt is way over there." I pointed to the lone belt several feet away from our cage.

"I still say that was a low blow, bird boy; stealing my belt." His posture had finally tensed up.

I frowned at him. "You would've used it to escape," I said, pointing out the obvious. "There wasn't any need to take mine, though," I muttered, eyeing my belt that had been thrown far over to the museum doors.

"Don't like a taste of your own medicine, kid?"

I slumped further down and glared at the museum floor. "I can't believe I was beaten by a cage," I muttered.

Red X shrugged as if to point out how comfortable he was by it all. "Could be worse," he said smoothly, proving my thought.

I shot a look at him. "Yes. It could. I'd just prefer not to think about what _could_ have happened." I slumped a little lower, scenarios already playing out in my head.

He eyed me. "You're not a very optimistic guy." It wasn't a question.

I sighed. I'd been told this several, several times, usually by my own team mates. Sometimes even by the villains I was fighting. "I'm a realist. Hero work kinda takes the silver lining out of life."

By the way his mask moved, I guessed he'd raised an eyebrow. "I thought heroes were all about fighting for the good things in life."

That's what I had thought years ago too. I'd learned otherwise since then. "Not when you work with the Batman."

"Then what do you fight for?"

I thought about it for a moment. "Peace, I guess."

"Peace isn't a good thing?" He was smirking again.

I rolled my eyes. He was being much more difficult than he needed to be. "I think we fight more for life than anything. Life, and the chance for others to have a peaceful life." Somebody should have some peace. I obviously wasn't getting any tonight, or any other night.

"Still sounds like you're fighting for the good things."

I scowled. He needed to learn some new lines. "Fine. So I fight for the good things in life, but I _see_ all the nasty stuff too."

I've seen so much evil. My mind was forever changed even before I came to Jump and fought off Slade and an inter-dimensional demon. I've had to handle guns, beat off rapists, break up drug dealings, dismantle bombs, anything else you can think of. I lived in _Gotham_, and I swear there's a reason why it has the word 'goth' as the first part of its name. It's not a nice place. When you work there, you don't deal with simple robberies where you take Jimmy to his parents' house to ask them to please give him a good grounding because he stole a pack of gum from Mr. Mercer's store again. In Gotham, you fight to live.

"Do you believe in what you fight, though?"

My hands fisted from behind my legs. "What are you, a shrink?" I asked, sarcasm flooding my words.

He stayed silent for a minute, then shrugged. "I guess I'm just curious why you do it. It seems pretty pointless to me. Nothing ever changes."

I raised my eyebrows. Was he joking? "Did you even _see _what Jump was like before the Titans came around? I didn't pick this place because I thought the name was weird." Although, to be honest, I had five cities narrowed down, and Jump won simply because its name was way more intriguing than Whitburn or Felix. "I picked it because it needed help. Before the Titans, this place was a dump. Of course things change. Things have become better - that's why we fight."

"So even though you don't believe in the good things, you still fight for them."

I sighed, the air blowing out of my nostrils. "I believe in the good things of life, X. They just don't play a major role in my life."

I stayed quiet, trying to organize my thoughts. "I fight for kids - the ones who have no idea that their uncle is a drunk, and just know him as the guy who takes them to the circus whenever it's in town. I fight for the people who try to help others even if they don't get anything back. I fight for the chance for humankind to live peaceable with everyone." A memory tugged at my mind, and I grinned at it. "Like Beast Boy said, I fight for truth, justice, and the last slice of pizza.

"Yeah, X. I fight for the good things in life."

I could swear he was smirking again. "Quite a little speech there, kid."

My cheeks starting burning, but I shrugged it off, hoping he couldn't see it in the darkness. "I organize a group of teenagers. I gotta have some speech-making skills."

"True." He laughed, the machine that vibrated by his voice box distorting the sound until it was robotic and ugly. "My girlfriend would've loved to hear all that."

My ears were ringing. His what? "_You_ have a girlfriend?"

He snorted. "Sure do. Life does exist outside this costume, you know."

I knew that. I knew that better than most. "But you're always flirting with Starfire."

I felt stupid as soon as the words left my mouth. Like I didn't flirt a little with Poison Ivy while I dated Batgirl. Dick Grayson could be a notorious flirt - he took after his father in that way. And it was fun to push their buttons. Most were cute when they were angry.

"Goes with the image. Besides, bird boy, you always get so worked up when I do."

My fist clenched and I shifted, feeling anger burn in my chest. Who did he think he was?

"Watch it, kid. If you hit me, I'll hit back; and in a space like this someone might get hurt."

I breathed out slowly, forcing my anger to flow out of me. He was right. My hand relaxed. "Yeah; you," I muttered, looking away.

"Doubt it." He was smirking again.

I ignored him, knowing that if I took him too seriously he'd annoy me to the point of no return. Instead, I leaned my head back and stared at the ceiling. "What were you trying to steal from here, anyways?" I muttered to myself.

That was what was getting me. Red X didn't steal priceless artifacts. He stole zinothium to power his suit and go on joy rides. There was no zinothium found in the Jump City museum, and nothing of any real interest here. What was his purpose? Didn't he know he'd only get caught?

"Seriously?" he asked.

I blinked and looked back at him, realising that we'd been silent for almost a full minute before he'd answered me. "Yeah," I said. "Seriously."

He breathed deeply. "My girlfriend wanted to look at the Goldmein Necklace."

I frowned. "That ugly thing?"

He sighed angrily. "Yeah. That ugly thing. She swears it looks just like her Grandma's or something - I don't know. Wouldn't shut up about it anyways," he muttered.

"So you were gonna steal it and give it to her," I summarized flatly. "That thing is worth millions."

"I was going to borrow it - just for the night." He shrugged, knowing his reasoning was completely preposterous. "It'd be back by tomorrow," he mumbled.

"Uh huh."

His head snapped up to meet my eyes and I could feel his anger glaring through the cloth of his mask. "Like you wouldn't do the same for your girlfriend."

"She's not my girlfriend," I said evenly, thankful Starfire wasn't here to hear that. "And even if she was, I still wouldn't. Stealing necklaces from a museum is a crime."

"And you're too good for that."

"Exactly."

He fell into an almost sullen silence and I eyed him a little longer. "Why didn't you just pay for the tour?" I asked snappily. "Lot less people getting mad at you then."

He glared up at me again, but before he could speak, the museum doors slammed open and a bright light scanned the entire lobby. Red X and I both got to our feet and blocked our eyes with our hands before the light could blind us.

"Dim it down a bit, Cy!" I called, squinting into the light. I could hear Red X's hiss of pain beside me.

"Robin!"

Starfire's high voice was quickly followed by a whoosh of wind, and when I lowered my hand to look in front of my, she floated on the other side of the cage bars. Her face was alive with relief.

"Oh, thank _X'hal_, you are safe, Robin! When we did not hear from you-"

"I'm fine, Star," I said, cutting her off. She could go for hours sometimes, but she still drew a smile from me. "Really."

"Dude... do you have any idea what time it is?" Beast Boy groaned, stumbling out from behind he fell head over heels. "Oww... What was that?" he wondered sleepily.

"Too early?" I guessed.

"Two in the morning," Cyborg confirmed.

I shrugged. "Sorry." I glanced over at Beast Boy, who was rubbing his back. "Was that my belt, Beast Boy? It got caught on something during the fight and it was either lose it or lose him," I lied, tossing a thumb in Red X's direction. The lie sounded more plausible than the truth and I didn't want to spend the entire night here explaining something as stupid as that.

"Oww..." Beast Boy groaned. "Yup. It's definitely your belt."

"Great." I looked up at the Titans. "Wanna contain X here for me, Raven?"

She was eyeing me, probably having sensed my lie and wondering why I said it. Thankfully, she didn't comment and only made her eyes glow black. "Gladly," she droned. With a wave of her hand, a sheet of black magic wrapped itself around Red X's body, trapping his arms to his torso. She began walking towards us.

He watched me. "What? Don't you trust me?"

I raised an eyebrow at him. Right. I looked back at Star. "Okay, Star; let us out."

With a groan of exertion, she pried the bars apart far enough for me to slip through and out of my cage. As soon as I did so, she hugged me tightly for a brief second, then released me, blushing slightly. I smirked at her and shook my head. I'd talk to her later.

"Are the police here, Cy?" I asked, stepping away from the cage. A quick glance behind me showed Raven leading Red X out of the cage.

Cyborg gestured outside. "They're waiting with a van just for him."

I nodded. "Good." I kept my eyes on Red X who had just stepped out of the cage. The moment he did so, I saw his head tilt slightly.

I followed his gaze and my eyes landed on his belt lying feet away from us. Before I could push Starfire aside, however, Red X kicked back with his foot, smashing into Raven's face. The forced knocked her back and her head slammed into the cage, her body slumping to the floor. As soon as her eyes closed, the magic containing Red X vanished, and he darted for his belt.

Beside me, Starfire gasped and flew towards Raven's limp body and I ran for Red X.

We reached the belt at the same time and as my fingers closed around it, I saw him drop into a low crouch. I reared my head back to dodge the high kick he aimed at me, but then his foot dropped directly onto my hands. His foot knocked the belt out of my hands and onto the floor with a sharp clatter.

I tried to sweep my feet around it, ignoring the throbbing in my hands, but his hands grabbed it before I could finish the move. He pulled up and tried to snap it around his waist when I stopped him with a flying tackle, throwing him to the ground, with my fists already aiming for his face.

We rolled; me trying to get my hands up high enough to cause him some damage when I ht him and him trying to block my punches with one hand while his other hand struggled with his belt. Even as he grunted from pain as some of my punches made contact I could sense him smirking behind his mask.

I gritted my teeth and managed to get a direct punch to his nose. He cried out even as he snapped the belt on. I heard him laugh beneath me and he vanished in a flash of red light. I growled and got to my knees, punching the ground in frustration.

"Why didn't you stop him?" I barked, snapping my head around to glare at Cyborg and Beast boy.

"And hit you?" Cyborg countered, his arm already morphed into a cannon.

"Hey, bird boy."

My head snapped back and I looked around widely until I found him sitting on top of a statue of some ancient goddess, his feet hanging off the side. Before I could give them the order to fire, he spoke out again.

"You almost make people want to be a hero, kid. And yet..." He shrugged, standing up, bringing his head inches away from hitting the ceiling, "it still doesn't sound like it's quite as much fun as my way."

Anger boiled deep inside of me. So now he was going to mock me? "You remember that when I save your girlfriend's life!" I shouted, wishing I had my belt so I could throw something at him. "Titans, go!"

Instantly, a blast from Cyborg's cannon passed through the spot where Red X had been just a moment before. I heaved a sigh and fell back on my rear, frowning in disgust.

"Uh... Robin?"

I glanced over at Beast Boy who was timidly holding out my belt to me. I sighed again and took it from him, standing up to snap it back on. 'Thanks," I muttered. I glanced over at Raven and Starfire, still huddled by the cage. "You two all right?"

Starfire looked up, Raven curled in her orange arms, the latter holding her head. "I believe that Raven shall be fine after some rest," Starfire answered gently.

I nodded and crossed my arms. Slowly I looked over to where Red X had been and frowned again. Maybe being a hero wasn't the most entertaining job a person could have. But it was the most rewarding one I knew of.

With another sigh, I turned around and faced my team. Cyborg stood strong and patient, Beast Boy rubbed the sleep from his eyes, Starfire stood with Raven lying in her arms, and Raven was frowning in pain. Despite the loss, I gave them an honest smile. Being a hero brought me to them, a new family I never thought I'd have, and that was worth all the darkness of the job.

"C'mon, Titans. Let's go home."

- - - ZINOTHIUM - - -

* * *

_Angry boy, a bit too insane_

_Icing over a secret pain_

_You know you don't belong._

_You're the first to fight;_

_You're way too loud;_

_You're the flash of light on a burial shroud..._

_I know something's wrong..._

_'Cause everyone I know has got a reason_

_To say:_

_Put the past away._

- - - END - - -


End file.
